How I convince my daughter to lose weight?

Sammy - posted on 02/05/2014 ( 11 moms have responded )




Hi, ok so my 11 year old daughter cries everyday about her weight and it's heart breaking. She's about 140 pounds and she wants to lose weight. When she gets naked she looks... chubby. But when she is wearing clothes she looks very slim. How can she lose weight? I only tease her sometimes but I don't mean to hurt her feelings. She doesn't like doing sports at school and it's just... very tiring. I want her to love the way she is but she won't accept it. How can I convince her to lose weight when she doesn't like exercising? Once she exercised for like 3 days and went on the scale. She came up to me and asked: "Mommy, how come I'm not losing any weight?" I'm like: "Because you're only burning the calories that you ate. It takes a lot of hard work to get to your goal." Then she started sobbing so much on my lap. She says she gets bullied in school and online. She also said that she wanted friends to play with at school but nobody would. Any suggestions or helpful tips that would help? Thanks!


[momoftwo] - posted on 02/08/2014




Lock up the fridge! The number one thing is portion control and not eating unhealthy things that you just take out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave.
Also, there's videos on youtube that may help and she may get a better picture on how to eat better. One girl I like on there is UrbanOG because she uploads easy workouts to do at home.
And another thing is, is teasing has to stop completely because it will damage her, her self esteem is already spiraling downwards. And I know it will be hard but like I said before, lock up the fridge.
She has to watch her weight because she is already at health risks for being over weight.
and you are right on the part that shes not losing weight because shes only burning what shes eating.

another thing is, you could also bring it up with your doctor at the next visit, I really hope she will start committing to eating less and healthier.
What is her height because there is calorie calculators online where you put your height, weight, and age and see how many calories you should be taking in a day and sometimes they will show you how many you would need to lose weight I think? She has to exercise though, tell her you have to sweat and that's what helps. She must be active but mostly eating right. You can tell her eating right is what slims you down, exercise is mostly for toning your muscles.
OH! One more thing.... before she eats a meal or has a snack a neat trick is drinking a tall glass of water before eating because it will make you feel full so you eat less. Water also boosts your metabolism.

Jodi - posted on 02/05/2014




Wow, you tease your daughter about her weight "sometimes" and yet you are not trying to hurt her feelings? Do you understand what your teasing would be doing to her self esteem. Sorry, but I am appalled.

Firstly, you need to look at what she is eating. It isn't about "going on" a diet, but making sure she is eating properly in the first place. She shouldn't need to go on a diet if she is eating appropriately in the first place.

I also agree with the idea of walking. Why not find a way to make this time special for you and her and go on a walk with her every day?


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Often it takes other that 'just mom' to solve some issues for our kids. Do you know a female Dr. you could take her to who could gently explain how she can lose weight? She's just a kid- she may need some more guidance with her diet... Of course the dreaded fear is anorexia but ..... how tall is she? Is she small or large boned/frame? OFTEN kids will lose their 'baby fat' as they or just before high school. I've seen that so many times. I'd take her to a nice female doc. How about exercising with her? Lord knows how hard it is to get motivated - she's just a kid.

Elizabeth Anne - posted on 02/08/2014




If she doesn't like to exercise try eating VERY healthy. Encourage her and do not tease her. Why tease her anyways when she cries about her weight? My friend's daughter has been on the chubby side and she was always crying, so to make her feel better (I know it is not the best way but it helped a bit) she showed her a picture of someone even chubbier. If she does not like doing school sports then how about non school sports?! No one is ever really comfy changing in locker rooms! In soccer no one really cares how you look only where the ball is and how they are gonna get it. Hope I helped! FYI I am 129 1\2 lbs and am 5'8. Is she really tall?

Keltara - posted on 02/08/2014




After reading your post and the replies, I have to wonder why no one asked how tall this child is? Does her doctor say she is overweight for her age and height? I'm asking because when I was 12 my best friend was 5'9" tall. She grew until she was 6'1" and then stopped, but she was tall for our age. Also, teasing your daughter is not going to help her. It will only make her feel worse. If you want to help her, ask her what she thinks she might like to do as far as exercise goes. Does she like swimming? Does she like to dance? See if you can get her involved in something outside of school that is physically active. If she says something inactive, then compromise with her. Tell her she can have her "piano lessons" if she also agrees to give "karate" a try. Usually at 11, children are not so set in what they do that it can't be changed with some motivation.

Lesley - posted on 02/07/2014




Change your diet together. Take walks together, biking and swimming are good too. do it together as a family don't tease her! Remember one day when your old and in diapers someone has to change them. Or she could tease.

Jennifernider - posted on 02/07/2014




U need to be 100% on board with her making fun her isent helping change the food in the house and eat heathy together go for walks together make it fun and put some music on and dance while making a heathy supper make it n everyday thing do it with her and tell her everyday she's beautiful losing weight isent a few days at the gym it's a lifestyle change and she needs ur help to keep her motivated

Diana - posted on 02/05/2014




Hi my name is Diana. First of all I have a passion for helping kids with there weight. Diets don't work unless you are strong minded. Two things I recommend myself I can volunteer to take her to the park depending on where you live or have her eat mostly food with water throughout the day like fruits etc.. It cleanse the body. Kids don't wanna hear about diet its hard.

Chet - posted on 02/05/2014




Generally, you don't want kids to lose weight. It's usually preferable for their weight to hold steady while they grow into it. Your daughter should have a big growth spurt coming that may make her weight completely healthy for her height and bone structure.

I would start by talking to a doctor and possibly a nutritionist. A nutritionist may ask you to keep a food diary, so it might be useful for you to start keeping one now. A doctor should be able to give you some guidance in terms of what size your daughter should be, if she does need to drop pounds, and if she has any health issues that are causing her to be bigger (like low thyroid).

Don't tease your daughter at all. It doesn't matter how you mean it, what matters is how she hears it. You can't be sure she'll hear it the way you mean it, so don't do it at all.

Physical activity that's part of your life is usually better than structured, artificial exercise. It's a lot harder for most people to go to the gym and work out on a machine than it is to do something fun and social that incorporates physical activity. I completely agree with Shawnn Lively - ask your daughter to go for a walk with you, go to the pool as a family, try bowling, curling, croquet or minigolf. Run errands without the car.

You really do need to take a hard look at how what food is coming into your house and how your whole family eats. While diet and exercise both matter, they aren't equal. Diet is usually the bigger component.

Lastly, you need to be positive. Your daughter can do this. She really, really can and you can constantly remind her of that. Psychology is a huge part of success, and helping your daughter to change her thinking will help enormously. She needs to see this as a situation where she has the power to improves things for herself, not as a situation that's hopeless. But she can't do it herself, since she's 11 you're going to have to work to change the food and activity habits in your household.

Michelle - posted on 02/05/2014




Why would you tease her about her weight? Even if it's only "sometimes".
You haven't said what her diet is like. Make sure that you make healthy meals and snacks and, like Shawnn said, go for a walk with her. You should encourage her not tease her.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2014




Well, how can you get her to 'love the way she is'? Quit teasing her. Encourage healthy choices for foods, exercise, etc.

Hi have to ask, if she's 11, and weighs she extremely tall? Because I"m 5'7", and if I weigh 130, I've got rocks in my pockets...

The whole family needs to make a commitment to exercise and eat healthier. Swimming is an excellent activity that gets the entire family involved, is fun, and, after awhile, will start to show her efforts. But, you can't expect an 11 year old child to change her eating and exercise habits just because you say so, you need to be her example.

My son is on the heavy side. Not obese, but his body structure shows extra weight easily. He asked what he could do to slim down. He & I started healthier eating (not a huge change for me, but he joined me). We started a daily routine where we (just he & I) would walk for a couple miles a day, or bike for a couple hours after work. After we got in the routine, he encouraged his friends to join, and I backed off. He's got a regimen that works for him, and I've got a happier kid. But, I didn't just say "well, you need to do this"...I became his example.

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