How long before emotions go back to normal after birth of baby?

Heidi - posted on 01/23/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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I was just wondering how long does it take before emotions go back to normal after babies birth. The first two days home i felt like water faucet...mostly overwhelming happiness, some thoughts of how hard it will be to go back to work and leave him...and now evening time anxiety...which is the one that is really bothering me now..my stomach feels anxious almost in a knot, shoulders really tight??? Can anyone help with advice or if they have felt anything similiar???

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Sarah - posted on 01/19/2015

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Have you tried Simethicone (Mylicon) drops? They are safe and can help with gas quite a bit.

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2015

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When you go out, try to time it to feed him right before you go. I mean the last possible moment, he is changed, diaper bag ready, car seat ready, feed and leave. If he starts to howl, you can go out to you car, offer a bottle of pumped milk or nurse him in the store. It is awkward and you'll get some stares but it is legal and you don't have to hide in the ladies room. His feet are or do they just feel cool? If they are nice and pink and his toenails are not blueish, he is fine. I sorta forgot that part; if your baby is getting too cold, his fingers, toes and around his lips will get pale, dusky or even turn blue. Remember when he nurses, his sucking is more efficient than a pump and he is using a large amount of your supply, so it's normal to not have much milk to pump,

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2015

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If the bottle gags him, try another type of nipple. Mimijumi Very Hungry is a great one. How much nursing and how much bottle feeding are you doing? He may be rejecting the pacifier simply because it is confusing. At night, I would not pump unless you are so engorged you can't sleep. During the day if he is asleep and you have gone a few hours, you can pump and store milk. If he were to wake and want to nurse you will have a little of your hind milk left and that will satisfy him quickly. When you typically nurse, first is the fore milk, then milk, last hind milk. Think; skim, 2%, whole. So that last bit of the milk he gets is the richest and most filling. It is not a good idea to pump and feed baby right away often because he needs the fore milk for hydration. For routine, right now, during the day let him rule. Feed when he fusses, at get that last feeding to go as long as you can. So if he goes down at 9, he will wake around midnight. Hopefully, in the next week or so, you can get him to start dropping a feed during the night. If he gets up 12,2,4,6, he should be able to go 12-4, 6 or 12,2-6 soon. It may not happen often but when it does you will wake up panicking and then realize you just got your first REM sleep since you delivered. It is ok to let him fuss a bit during the night and see if he'll settle, but he is not ready to cry it out. If he is insistent, feed him. I know it feels like this will never end, I promise you it will.

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2015

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Routine is good, but it is very early to try to start any more than daytime sleep vs nighttime sleep. If you can even get him to go 12midnight to 5am, you will feel better. When you swaddle, he can be in light pj's or a long sleeve onesie. If you have a stretchy receiving blanket you can pull it around and tuck it in easier, they also make special swaddling pjs now, but I never had a chance to try them. General rule of thumb; put baby in one layer more than you'd be comfy wearing. Does that make sense? You will know when he is too old to swaddle because he will wriggle free every time you do it. You can tell if he is hot, if the back of his head is sweaty, or you feel his cheek is warm. Conversely, he may be cold if the tip of his nose feels cool or his cheek is cool when touched to your cheek. As long as you stick with quiet dim night activity, he will start to settle into a pattern. Probable a week or two from now you will see a routine forming. Right now, sleep when you can. I think trying to make that last night feed a good one helps. If you nurse him, let him go longer or top him off with a little formula. Music or white noise is fine. You are doing fine, hang in there and trust yourself. Babies are quite durable and very forgiving!

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2015

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Starting with sleeping, does he like to be swaddled? I think most babies like to sleep on their tummies and that is how every baby used to sleep, because their arms don't flail around and wake them up. It won't be long until he can lift his head well and start rolling to his tummy on his own to sleep. For formula fed baby you can expect to feed him 2.5 oz per pound over the course of the day, less if you nurse. So if he weighs 10lbs, that would be 25 oz spread out over the day. Taking a bottle every 3 hours or so. If you are nursing, don't worry about time span, just let him nurse when he acts hungry or fussy. If he is eager to eat, start on the side that make less, that might stimulate your body to make more milk. If he is frustrated and pulling off, switch to the side that makes more and let him eat. The whole feeding can take 45 minutes but a general rule of thumb that worked for me is 7-10 minutes on each side, trying to have sucking and swallowing for at least 5-7 minutes. If he nurses just a few minutes and really is sound asleep, he wasn't very hungry so let him sleep, but he will be ready to eat in the next 1-1.5 hours. One really nice thing about nursing, is you can't overfeed. Your baby can nurse non-nutritively (aka you are a human pacifier), this is also a drawback because you are the only one who can feed him.
Yes, your doctors office can help you as can your pediatrician. Call the hospital where you delivered. Often times there is a nurse in the maternity department who is available to take calls from new moms. We called it the "warm line". He will like baths more when he can splash and play. For now, just try to keep him warm. You are not bugging me at all. I feel for you, I was exactly in your shoes...18years ago.

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Mandi - posted on 01/19/2015

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lol run away... I'm 26, I think my runaway days are far behind me :) He's a pretty good baby.. except when he has gas or has to poop, then he cries a lot. Besides that things are good :) He won't take the Enfamil formula I got him that's supposed to help with gas.. so I try and do what I can.

Sarah - posted on 01/18/2015

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No worries. Just checking to be sure you did not run away from home! I am glad things are going well.

Mandi - posted on 01/18/2015

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Sorry I'm almost never on the computer, when I am it's usually my email and facebook.

Mandi - posted on 01/18/2015

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Things are good! He's sleeping better, can hold his head up and his legs are strong!

Sarah - posted on 01/11/2015

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He will roll over, sit and creep on his belly before he crawls. Probably around 6 months for crawling.

Mandi - posted on 01/10/2015

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Oh I noticed that! He's approaching a month already! It's getting easier.. and he hold his head of and pushes himself forward with his feet-Almost crawling! I give him 2 more months before he has the arm strength! It's exciting sometimes... Just tiring at night.

Sarah - posted on 01/09/2015

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It does take some adjusting. BTW you have two different Sarahs responding to your questions.

Mandi - posted on 01/09/2015

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Sorry Ive been resting, making appointments, and getting more situated :) That's what I think about when things are hard-This little guy is counting on me.. It keeps me sane, most of the time. lol Things seem to be getting easier day by day... Im still having trouble with getting up in the middle of the nights.... it'll take some time getting used to.

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2015

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I had a hard time coping for a few months on and off, that's when I asked someone for help for a while. It will get better, relax and sleep while you can, and definitely get help when you need it. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your baby is counting on you.

Mandi - posted on 01/07/2015

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He has waaay more stool than that! But probably around that many wet diapers. I usually change them around every feeding time.. or if the wetness indicator is blue-he Haaates pee diapers. He weighed 7lbs 4oz when born and as of today hes 9lbs! Which i thought was a lot... so i guess hes getting enough to eat then!? lol Yeah at first the nurses kept having to help latch him onto me cause i wasnt very good at bringing him to the nipple. He could probably sleep on his dads chest, but he doesnt hold him long enough... dads still adjusting to the baby lol I do the feeding and diaper changing... dad burps him sometimes lol I kept him up a good amount from noon to 3 then he had an appointment which he slept through and didnt wake up till around 6:30! Now I gotta keep him up till bed time at 9... which is going well! Only another hour. I'll make sure he still gets 18hrs though.

Sarah - posted on 01/07/2015

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Your milk should stay as long as he is nursing actively, you may find that your production does not bump up as readily if you are supplementing. Every mother is different and even baby to baby your supply will be different. I was very lucky, I made tons of milk. I struggled terribly to learn how to breastfeed, neither myself nor my baby could figure it out and I was so sore! I almost quit, but finally got the hang of it. Having the baby with you, nursing on demand and staying hydrated or the major factors in keeping your supply. However, even with the best efforts, your milk supply may just not keep up. If you are really worried, you can try calling a lactation consultant at the hospital where you delivered. Also, he should have 1-2 stools, and 7-8 wet diapers every 24 hours. If you note that his urine seems concentrated, or he does not gain weight, he might no be getting enough. His hands and feet will warm up as he gains weight and moves more. For now, as long as his head is warm, and his fingers and toes are pink all is well.
I made myself crazy pumping milk for when I went out, even if I was just going to my in-laws (they are were not pleased with my choice to breastfeed). After my first, I stopped and decided, if I can eat in public, so can my baby. It is something you will get more comfortable with as he gets bigger and eats more efficiently. Right now it probably feels like a production every time he eats.
Does he like to sleep on dad's chest? My husband would let them sleep on his chest an I could get a shower or take a quick nap, alone.
Don't worry about keeping him awake too much during the day either, baby at 3-4 weeks still needs 18 hours of sleep.

Mandi - posted on 01/07/2015

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Yeah, i'm gonna try and pump some at a time after every time i feed him.. then i'll have some ready to go out with and some for night time. It would be pretty awkward to breastfeed in public, but if I have to it's pretty easy to just cover up with a loose shirt or blanket. His feet are pretty cool... like after you wash your hands in cold water... not freezing though.. and they look normal. His hands are a little cold too but they are covered as well, but look pink/red and normal.... maybe just bad circulation? My hands and feet are usually Always cold. Sometimes his lip quivers like hes cold so then i wrap him up in a blanket and/or hold him. I tried swaddling him the other day.... He wasnt very happy at all lol Should i expect my milk supply to just go away... or will it be there as long as he feeds and/or i pump?

Mandi - posted on 01/07/2015

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How do people go out places with their babies? I mean... yeah, feed and change him before you go... but i'm worried like, if he gets hungry again or starts screaming in the grocery store lol
So i pumped a little bit this morning... just a few drops from my right one... Idk how he sucks on it for so long if thats all hes getting. I just about got 2oz from my left. Im worried hes not getting enough from me... but he'd let me know right?
Oh, my baby has socks on... but his feet are cold... is that okay? Or what can I do about it?
Ive been drinking some chamomile tea every night... has helped keep me calm and sleep too. I think baby sleeping in his bed is getting easier... I usually put him down in it for a few hours and then hold him in bed a couple hours. Thanks for all your help! I'm gonna try and stick to this daytime routine: 9am get out of bed time feed and change and can either sleep or stay awake. 12p keep him awake. 3p a long nap. 6p keep him up. and 9p bed time. You think its good?

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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Yeah I'm a bit more calm today... I cried a tiny bit though thinking about not sleeping tonight... lol I have a humidifier as well that makes a bit of noise so I have that on too.. But my bedroom door makes this pop noise when you open it so that startles him.. but usually goes back to sleep. I just hope I can stay calm.

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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Yeah I'll have to try that one! Mostly nursing.. today it's been about every 2hrs except when he took a long nap for about 4hrs... but he's not eating much today... could it be my bad diet? I havent had time to shop for much food.. and my stomach gets upset when I eat so I dont eat much at one time... but im still taking my prenatal. I figured the pacifier would be confusing... anytime he sucks on something he gets food... and if hes not hungry he doesnt take anything in his mouth. I was engorged for a while after the hospital just on my left breast.. but its softer now... Why is that? Am i losing milk? I thought REM was when the baby slept lightly and could easier be woken up? That happens a lot unless he's sleeping on me or im watching him while hes on his tummy on the playmat... he sleeps great on his stomach. I usually dont pump at night.. too tired or baby sleeps on me.. I barely have time in the day to do it because I'm always looking stuff up on the computer or cleaning up the room so I have room to walk lol or doing the dishes or trying to organize and find all my paper work... lol I'm unsure of pumping cause I never know when he's going to wake up... sometimes he sleeps for an hour only.. so I dont have much time. I usually let him fuss a bit at night and I usually dont make much out of it unless he starts getting louder our crying a bunch... then usually I just have to hold him which leads to laying in bed with him cause I cant stay awake. It does feel like it will never end... Im just waiting for the weeks to go by so it gets better... And I know when he starts getting older I'm gonna miss him being a baby... But i'm just so tired... lol

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2015

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You at least sound a little more relaxed, so that is good! Sounds like he is warm enough. I used a white noise machine, in my son's room, it seemed to help him. The room was almost too quiet without it, like even the stairs creaking would startle him.

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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Only time he sleeps for more than 3 hrs is when he's in the car... he takes after me that way lol I'll probably get some of those swaddling pjs! I usually just wear a tank top but around the house i have my robe on as well and fuzzy warm pajamas to keep warm. His head is warm but his nose is a little cold... rest of him feels pretty warm. I picked him up once and his back was really warm but his face was cool. From stories I've heard he's a pretty calm baby compared to some. Some people said noise will put him to sleep because that's what they heard in the tummy. He was always awake and kicking when I was laying down for bed.... That's why I'm not sure to give him noise to put him to sleep or quiet... lol

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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Also, i think he does use me as a pacifier to fall asleep to sometimes-Or at least at the end of his feedings.... but he won't take an actual pacifier! I can barely get him to take bottles I think they go too far in his mouth cause I've seen him gag before. what sort of routine do you suggest? Or none at all? I Really need him to sleep more at night and Not in my bed. Also... should I pump while he's sleeping for when he won't take formula or im too sore, or we need to go out somewhere? Or will it harm my production for when he's hungry?

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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He likes it sometimes.. but im not very good at it, his arms come loose a lot... Should he be wearing Anything underneath besides a diaper? A long sleeve or short sleeve onsie? And he screams when hes undressed and im trying to swaddle him... Its easier to just put him in pajamas, at least until I get better at it. When should I stop swaddling him? I dont want him to be too hot or cold.. its usually around 65-70 in the room. He might not like it cause im bad at it or cause hes cold. Maybe not swaddle during the day and do it at night so he knows its bed time? He lifts his head pretty good already but he hasnt got the rolling over thing down yet. He woke up a little bit ago... I changed his diaper and he fell back asleep... should I try and keep him awake to feed during the day? I know you said not to worry about time span but I read a routine is good... I'm trying to establish a 3hr routine... so if I feed in every 3 hrs during the day, i'm hoping he'll eat every 3hrs at night so I can sleep a little more?.... Or should I wake him up more often during the day so he's more full and tired for when bed time comes-Which i'm trying to make around 9pm- around his last feeding for the day. Or maybe let him sleep, feed every 3 hrs, until it gets later around his bedtime and then keep him up for a long span before putting him to bed at 9? Like keep him awake from 7-9 then feed him and put him to bed? I'm not sure what kind of schedule I should put him on, but I want him to feel more awake during the day so I can get some rest at night because it's really hard for me to nap during the day... I feel anxious and like I should be doing more and getting things done. I have been starting on my right breast because that one makes less, then switching to the right one... maybe with a diaper change inbetween if he's fussy.. and then ending with the right one. I'm actually trying to come up with Any sort of routine or schedule... Maybe play music before his bedtime..? I've been playing his bassinet music really low for him to sleep to with a little night light in the room for feedings and diaper changes...... should I not play music... I dont know? lol Maybe I shouldn't be putting him on a routine yet and just rolling with it? He wakes every 1-2hes at night though I think because I try and out him in his bed.... I wish someone could come over and get him to sleep on his own! lol

Mandi - posted on 01/06/2015

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Thanks so much! I had to sleep with him on my chest last night because he kept falling asleep in my arms and id put him in his bed and instantly start crying...I think he likes sleeping on me because hes on his stomach, but he cant be left unattended on his stomach... i think thats why he wont sleep in his bed because i put him on his back or side. Is there a way to fix this? He'll nap during the day without being in my arms and will sleep in his bed some nights. I try and feed him every 3 hrs in the day time, 12am, 3am, 6am, 9am and same times in the pm.. he usually wakes up before his feeding times though, but pretty close to them. Last night he only took a little formula and wouldnt eat anymore and kept fussing so I fed him from the breast. I was going to try and only feed him formula at night so my bf could help, but it looks like thats not going to work right now. Sometimes he eats for less then 10 minutes... is that okay? I read they should feed for 20-45 minutes. How long should I nurse him on each breast... my right one barely pumps 1oz and my left one can do a whole bottle... should i feed him for longer on the left one so i know hes getting enough? Should i feed him more often if he only eats a little bit? Talking to you has really been helping my anxiety! I only cried a little bit yesterday and was able to calm myself down :) The hospital here in town doesnt take my insurance, I delivered 1hr 1/2 away... Will my obgyn be able to help me with questions as well? he's in town.. so im not bugging you too much lol Is there a way to get baby to like bath time? lol I want to do it before bed sometimes but he fusses and cries.

Sarah - posted on 01/06/2015

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You will tune into what works for him. If you are nursing feed on demand if he goes three hours or more during the day, rouse him to eat. At night, do not wake him even if he has slept thru a feeding. Keeping your nights quiet and dim with little talking will help him learn when to sleep. At 3 weeks you can't expect a schedule, but by 6-8 weeks he will sort of settle into one. I am not surprised he likes to sleep on your shoulder, you are his world, warm and comfy and the source of food. I would often sleep with my baby on my chest, it was the most relaxing position for him. I did this during the day, on the couch. He may fall asleep during noisy times simply because he can't take it in, it's too much stimulation. Hang in there and keep posting.

Mandi - posted on 01/05/2015

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I also dont know how to get him on a sleeping/eating routine or if i even should right now, I try and feed him more often during the day so hes awake longer, every 2ish hours... and less at night, every 3ish-4ish hrs..... unless hes still sleeping-I try and let him sleep longer at night. I talk to him more during the day... engage him and play with him and do tummy time..... tummy time though, he sometimes will fall asleep-i think he prefers sleeping on his stomach as when i burp him over my shoulder he tends to fall asleep as well. but i cant leave him unattended on his stomach. At night I keep everything dim and quiet... though i think he likes noise- some sites say to make noise to keep him awake, other places say it will put him to sleep.

Mandi - posted on 01/05/2015

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Thank you so much for the advice! I hate when my baby cries.. it makes me cry and I dont know why he doesnt like his bed. Ive tried putting him down twice already and have had to pick him up again.. he's sleeping in my arm right now as im typing with one hand.... My bf works early shifts 4ams usually so i try and keep baby quiet as he has to sleep in our room due to space, so I do whatever I can to get him to sleep. I dont have many gfs as I get along with guys better, and both our families live out of state, NV, OR and RI... so it's been pretty difficult. I get up at all hours of the night and get emotional when I cant quiet baby-and he only takes one boob, the bigger one... the other one has gotten smaller and barely produces 1oz because of it, so idk if hes even getting anything from it When he does rarely take it. I try and pump it as much as possible but I dont think its helping.. I barely get 1oz in a day-How can i keep up with pumping, the baby, and sleeping? Changing the diaper usually works to wake him but sometimes he sleeps right through it! I try and tickle him, talk to him, bring him into bright light... it works sometimes when hes not in a deep sleep. I like to breastfeed during the day because im not so tired... and give him formula at night so my bf can help sometimes on his days off.... Should i not be doing that? Im not sure how long my one boob can keep up with his feedings. I wish there was a guideline.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2015

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On Mandi, you need a girlfriend, your mom or a sister to come and spend some time with you. You are fine, this is normal, your hormones are shifting and it is a stressful time. If you are nursing and baby falls asleep without sucking and swallowing (you should hear a gulp or a tiny click) for at least 5-7 minutes on each breast, try to wake him up. tap his feet or rub your hand on his back, change diaper between sides to wake baby. It is ok to use both breast milk and formula, but it might be less stressful if you pick one or the other. I do not recommend sleeping with the baby in your bed, doze in a rocking chair or just have him in your room in his own bed instead. Some babies cry, a lot. My first baby cried so much I swore I'd never have another, I had three more. My mother told me "no baby ever died from crying", It is ok to give yourself a break, but I think some female company will help you more than anything.
If you are still feeling this anxious in 2-3 more weeks, call your doctor. I'll bet by then you will be feeling a bit better.

Mandi - posted on 01/05/2015

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My baby is almost 3 weeks and ive been crying almost everyday since i lift the hospital.... "is formula and breast milk okay?" ... "Is he still hungry even though he fell asleep?"... " Should i let him sleep with me if he wont sleep in his bed?" ... "Ive fed him, changed his diaper.. burped him.. rocked him... fed and changed him again... why is he still fussy?" .... for these reasons... but also sometimes for no reason at all... someone could say hi to me and ill cry.... And is very hard for me to sleep during the day... how can I make this anxiety go away?

Heidi - posted on 01/25/2010

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Thank you Mary that helps to know...and i have a follow up peds apt tomorrow and i am also looking forward to it for the re-assurance that he is doing fine. :)

Mary - posted on 01/24/2010

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Everyone is different, of course, but what you are describing sounds pretty normal to me. I cried at the drop of a hat the 1st 4 weeks, and it was usually because I was just overcome with love, or happiness, or even just stupid-tired! Anxiety...a certain amount of that is normal too...the "am I doing things right?" or "is she getting enough to eat?"...I loved taking her to the ped for a routine check-up just so he could reassure me that everything was normal and fine (and I'm a nurse, btw!).

It does gradually pass...although I still cry when I try to sing her certain songs...14 months later and I can still be overcome by a tender rush of love and wonder =)

Heidi - posted on 01/24/2010

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no my baby was just born...only a week old...so i am assuming that here in the near future these emotions will settle down...my tearfulness has already gotten a little better its just the anxiousness and that usually comes in the evening..i think it will probably pass on its own but can be overwhelming when it hits...thank you all for your responses...its nice to know that someone else has been thru it.

[deleted account]

It took me almost 3 months to feel kinda normal again, I think the sleep deprivation gets to us all. I was super aware that I felt really depressed with the birth of my 2nd child, my first child is not yet 22 months, I think it really stemed from being totally exhausted. You need sleep and a little more help, if you could just get 5 hours of sleep you'd be surprised how much better you feel.



I even had some pretty dark thoughts at times (only about myself), but now that the baby is 3 months old now it has passed. I was aware that I was acutely suffering from PDD, I never took meds, & it passed on its own.

[deleted account]

If your baby is a little older than you might want to talk to someone about post-partum depression, but if your baby is still pretty "new" than it's very normal to be on the emotional rollercoaster. It took me about a week to get back to normal-ish, but I still get weepy at TV shows and movies -- that NEVER happened before he was born! I think that some New Mom Anxiety is normal, but if it's really affecting your life you might want to talk to someone about PPD. Good luck!

Rebecca - posted on 01/23/2010

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How old is your baby now? Is it a worry that you can't see the baby or you're jsut still thinking from the days events? My daughter is 6 months old and i becmase pregnant with her when our was was almost 1yr old...i found out i was 7 weeks when he was 13 months old. My emptions after my son in all honesty never went back to normal and i was dumb founded when i discovered i was pregnant again. My Dr was going to order blood for after i had my second child to see if my hormones were back to normal but i need 6 regular periods for her to be able to tell...my periods are so screwed up it's not even funny but i feel a lot better since having my second child. It's almost as if the imbalance solved itself. I'm not saying have another child lol, but maybe talk to your Dr about getting some blood work done if your baby is older the 4 or 5 months.

Good luck!

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