How long did it take for you when TTC?

Momma Of 4 - posted on 03/07/2012 ( 121 moms have responded )

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It's been 6 months of trying and I JUST got my period again :( We are starting to get very sad every time I start to show signs of my period.



I have a son who is 3 with another man and my fiance has a 9 year old with another woman. So we both know we can have children.



How long did it take you to conceive and does anyone have any encouraging comments for us?



Sincerely,



C and J

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Soosb - posted on 11/08/2012

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My husband and I (Im 26, he is 33) have been trying for 11 months.Never been on birth control. Its getting very difficult for me as I cry each time I get my period. I have no known health problems and I am pretty sure I ovulate (i do OPK's and watch y cervical mucus). Don't know what to do and feel at this point as I am really ready for a baby and our families keep pressuring us for grandchildren.

Kaitlin - posted on 03/07/2012

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over a year- it's extremely common to take a year to a year and a half if you are under 35. i encourage you to chart and read Taking Charge of Your Fertility (your library will probably have it). It's very helpful and encouraging.

Stella - posted on 04/12/2012

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We tried for 2 years, then started getting tests at doctors to check my fertility. By this time, we'd given up trying as such, we went on holiday, then came back and went for the test results. I dragged my heels going for them, as I knew it wasn't going to be good news



We were told (exact words) there was virtually no chance of us conceiving naturally, due to my low hormone levels, and they would refer us for fertility treatment



As it transpired, I'd actually fallen pregnant when we were on holiday! The appt came through the day after I found out I was pregnant. I'm now pregnant again with identical twins, we weren't actually TTC but obv not using any birth control, mother nature has a funny sense of humour! That's all I am saying lol



Good luck, I hope it happens for you, but try and relax and not get too stressed about it

Amy - posted on 03/21/2012

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After my first child I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis and had a lap and lupron, nothing worked! We decided to try for another one even tho we knew the odds were stacked against us. I went off all drugs expecting to be on fertility and it taking a long time maybe even years. After 3 months of no drugs I ended up pregnant with identical twins. So it can happen I know that one. keep trying thats always fun LOL

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121 Comments

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Jaya Sri - posted on 11/01/2012

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If you have a regular cycle then if you chart it, it will be easier for you to know when you are fertile or not. If you have an irregular cycle then you should still chart but you should try based on your cervical mucus. I hope this helps. I have three children all planned by charting.

Brooke - posted on 05/17/2012

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7months with my first (stillborn) & 2 months with my current pregnancy. Hubby & I had sex everyday of the week leading up to ovulation & only missed sex on ovulation day because he had to go back to work but we had done enough.... have as much sex as possible leading up to ovulation

Karen - posted on 05/16/2012

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We also used "Maybe Baby" saliva ovulation kit to find that window - not sure if it's available there, but in Australia it's about $80 & it's re-usable & easy to read

Karen - posted on 05/16/2012

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1st pregnancy took 9 months (been on the pill for just under 18 months before TTC), then we lost it at 8wks, second was 13 months - lost it at 6wks, then we got pregnant with our daughter 3 months after that!
We fell again when she was about 6 1/2months old & lost it at 5 wks, but thought it was a complete miscarriage like the earlier ones and I finally went to the Doctor about 10wks later to be rushed into surgery to remove what didn't pass on it's own. We fell again about 4 1/2 months after that and I was rushed to hospital at 7weeks with severe bleeding - this time there was major flooding in the area and the roads were closed to the major hospitals, so about a week later I went to my obstetrician and was given medication to expel the remains.
They reacted badly and I was rushed again to hospital where I was discharged after a couple of days - the next morning my obstetrician didn't believe that everything had settled and made me an appointment to see her in the afternoon - she was right - and she operated on me that night!
After that it took us 14 months to get pregnant again (TTC 'actively' - 1 full weekend of activity in the appropriate ovulation window worked).
We are currently approaching half way and our daughter was right - she's getting a sister :) Sometimes people fall quickly - some people take years - some people like us seem to be able to fall relatively easily, but lose multiple pregnancies (been told we're perfectly healthy, but for whatever reason my body said it wasn't quite right)
Don't give up - when it's right, it's right - my obstetrician said "have lots of sex & I'll see you when you're pregnant again" - good advice! But don't forget to have fun too

Ashley - posted on 04/12/2012

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As weird as this sounds it took six months to concieve both of my children. They both have different fathers and when I got pregnant with my son I was on birth control. But exactly 6 months after being together bam! I was pregnant.
But DONT GIVE UP!!! Every thing happens for a reason and like a lot of the other moms said the more you try the harder it will be. You can still hump like rabbits but keep in your mind that this is just a very healthy sex life and not oh we are trying to make a baby!

Kerry - posted on 04/03/2012

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measure your temp for the most fertile time of the month to try,dont stress as it only makes it worst and you wont release eggs as easily. I tried for 6 years between my first and second.

April - posted on 03/21/2012

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With our first we tried for 2 years 2 months, then stopped trying when we decided to adopt. Three weeks later my husband "made" me take a pregnancy test and it was positive. With our second we weren't trying to get pregnant but we weren't trying to prevent it either and I was pregnant in about 3 months. My suggestion, try to forget about trying. Good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 03/21/2012

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Completely agree with some of the posts with regards to using an Ovulation Predictor kit (if you haven't already). I know it can be hard, but the more stress you put on yourself and your fiance, the more your conception chances decrease. Stress impacts us in so many ways.



Also, there is the possibility of Secondary Infertility. My sister-in-law has a 10 year old boy, but her and her husband tried for at least a year to conceive and never were able to. Her GYN had her tracking so much, but didn't know what was causing the infertility. Depending on your age and your fiance's age, you might want to see your OB/GYN if you don't conceive in the next 1-2 months after using the Ovulation Kit, as there might be items/ideas she/he will recommend. Plus, it might be helpful to get a workup for yourself and your fiance.



Keep as positive as you can be, and good luck to you both!

Andrea - posted on 03/21/2012

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Every time I got pregnant my ovulation cycle changed. To the point that number four was conceived when most would think it was impossible. Have you tried an ovulation predictor kit? You just be missing your eggs.

[deleted account]

Hi C and J,



I know how you feel. I have a daughter who will be 8 in June. I get disappointed too every month that I have my period. The only encouragement I can give you and take away for myself also is that nothing before its time. Trust that the Lord knows what he has planned for you and your family.



Kathy

Jennifer - posted on 03/21/2012

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It took my husband and I five years to conceive. We had a m/c before we married, and were very saddened by it. Once we got married, we started TTC right away. After a year, we did fertility testing and found there were some issues that were making things difficult. We did fertility meds for 2 1/2 years with no luck. Every time I got my period, I got more depressed. I finally decided that I was going to focus on getting healthy - the meds had caused me to gain a drastic amount of weight - so started working out and lost 40lbs. I felt better about myself, went out with a friend on my 5th wedding anniversary (my husband didn't want to go out), got falling down drunk, and woke up pregnant - with twins. Everyone says that once you quit trying it will happen, and to an extent that is true. Stress can play a huge role in conception. If you are too stressed, depressed, etc., things are more difficult. Try to shift your focus to something that makes you happy and maybe that will help.

Linda - posted on 03/20/2012

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Take a step back and relax. with my first son I was charting, taking my temp every morning going crazy because I did not get pregnant right away- in tears after the 2 week wait ended with aunt flo. But it all worked out fine. Took about 6 months. Now with my twins- that was ummm not planned... So be careful what you wish for;-)

Take a romantic weekend, if you can. Eat right, make sure you are taking your folic acid prenatals.

Most of all enjoy all the baby making time!

Good Luck,

LC

Heather - posted on 03/20/2012

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I noticed in one of your comments that you were doing it a lot. Too much sex can actually decrease your chances of conceiving. It diminishes the quantity of sperm released thereby lessening your chances of getting pregnant. I believe the recommendation is to only have sex 2-3 times per week if you're trying to get pregnant. Good Luck!

Alicia - posted on 03/20/2012

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Took 4 months after my husband's vasectomy reversal but we then miscarried. Took 6 months after that for our blessing. But one thing I learned is just to take your time. The more you stress about it the harder it is. You can try some of the "tricks" that are out there ( I tried those special lubricants, intercourse in the am when sperm count higher, hips up after) but don't rely too heavily on them. It will happen!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/20/2012

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You don't say how old you are but if you are over thirty get tested and rule out any problems with both of you we have a 13 year old and tried for years but had 3 miscarriages finally went to a fertility person after many 6invitros we have twin boys turning 4 and I was 47 when I had them so don't give up but don't stress yourself about it.I wish we would have gotten checked sooner. I wanted more kids now I am to old.

Ashley - posted on 03/20/2012

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Took my husband and I 2 years of actively trying to get pregnant with our daughter... Started trying when I was 22, and finally had here when I was 25. They ran test after test and couldn't find anything and then it finally happened when I gave up! We had seen a specialist and we were talking to him about doing IUI my next cycle, and then I got pregnant naturally! There is no rhyme or reason to why it happens for some right away and others it takes forever who have no issues! Just don't stress.. I believe that is a big factor! Good Luck!! :)

Kassy - posted on 03/19/2012

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It took my husband and I two years to get pregnant with our first, I was really starting to get worried, but everything is normal. I am currantly pregnant with our second, due April 15th and our first just turned two. So it still took us over a year to get pregnant with the second one.



Have faith, sometimes these things just take time. Good Luck :)

Momma Of 4 - posted on 03/19/2012

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I believe I ovulated this past weekend.... woke up with very tender breasts, low back pain and left side ovary cramping today.... ooohhhhhh fingers crossed!!

Melissa - posted on 03/19/2012

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Be patient, but depending on your age you may want to have both of your checked out. Sometimes it is a combination that is the problem and you just need the information to make things happen.

Sue - posted on 03/19/2012

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Took a little over 18 months for #1 During this time I got Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which I highly recommend, and started charting. Discovered I wasn't ovulating regularly, and further tests showed I have PCOS, so required drug intervention to bring about ovulation. With #2, even though we knew what the problem was, and started with drugs fairly soon (after trying without for a while, as sometimes previous pregnancy can kcik-start your hormones back to normality) it took about 2 years. So we have 4 1/2 years between our two sons (we were hoping for around a 2 - 2 1/2 year gap! Good luck to you.

Karyn - posted on 03/19/2012

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It took us 2 years for my 4 year old daughter. As soon as we stopped trying, we were pregnant the next month. With my 2 month old daughter it only took about 10 months from when I stopped my bc. Good luck.

Hayley - posted on 03/19/2012

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Sometimes TTC for some is a really stressful time but the key is to not think about it and certainly don't stress because it gets you nowhere. I already have a daughter with my first husband and it took us 4 months to conceive her. When my Fiancé and i decided try, i got very involved, very excited and expected soo much right away....it didn't happen for us, my partner doesn't have children with a previous relationship so he deep down really stressed about it, thinking he had a problem about a year after trying and we went up country to see some family and i decided to have my palm read....Well i was told we would conceive a little boy but with the help of a gynaecologist as my partner had a slight problem but nothing major...i did believe her, as she also told some stuff that no one else knew. Feeling rather gutted, i couldn't bring myself to tell my partner for a few weeks as he already thought it was him with the problem. So ignoring what i had been told i thought well if i lose weight it could really help as in medical terms i am obese. lost 3 stone and still nothing, also ovulation kits and all the works nothing...As the months go on you start to fill up every time your period shows. Then we came into some money troubles and thought maybe its for the best we haven't conceived, then a house opportunity came up for us....Just lots going on. Moved in, settled my daughter at the school and started getting things sorted for Christmas when i realised i was late for my period, didn't think nothing of it as your mind and body can play games when you have been trying and i had been known to be up to 2weeks late anyway...putting it down to stress i carried on, then noticed a huge change in my appetite (eating loads) and back pain, Just in conversation with my mother, she said take a test to rule out your not pregnant....In total shock i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant so i caught before we even moved. All together it took us a long, stressful 19months. But the key is to forget about it and have fun...easier said then i done i know but though our stressful time we forgot about trying and typically that was when we caught!!!! I am now nearly 6months through my pregnancy and we are so excited to meet our little boy. Always have faith, I wish you guys all the best.

Amanda - posted on 03/19/2012

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I was not able to have kids with my first husband. My husband and I now have 2kids both took less then two months to conceive with both kids. I used ovulation kits both times. I did same with EX also....It might be worth a fertlity test to see what you both can be doing to help. Taking charge and understanding your fertillity is wise advise. I was 30 with first and 35 with second. I had a positive quad screen as well for downs sydrome with my daughter...She did not have downs thank god but she did have x gene mutation that was non life threatening. My husband and I both took prenatel vitiamins while we where trying. There are certain positions to try also...GOOD LUCK KEEP TRYING;)

Robin - posted on 03/18/2012

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I wasn't trying for my first it just happened. It took me 1 1/2 years to conceive my second using ovulation tests and charting my fertility (note two miscarriages during that period) In fact I was in tears one month because my husband was sick and just couldn't do it a second time never mind a third during my fertile period and that's when I conceived!

Beth - posted on 03/18/2012

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It took us two years and lots of fertility treatments to get pregnant with our second son. He is seven months old and we just found out were pregnant again!!! So, I definitely say don't think about it. Enjoy yourself and it will happen. I know how depressing it is to get that period every month. Best of luck to you guys.

Mary - posted on 03/18/2012

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I went through a year of that and only when we got a puppy and our minds off the pregnancy did I actually become pregnant. Find something else to give your attention to...Good Luck!!

Yolanda - posted on 03/18/2012

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It took us almost 5 years to conceive our first daughter. In fact I got pregnant when I stopped TTC. Now it seems as though the flood gates are wide open b/c I'm pregnant with baby #2 and I was taking birth control pills. My babies will b 19 months apart. Stop stressing about it, when it's time it WILL happen. Until then keep having TTC.

Sara - posted on 03/18/2012

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3 years. Sorry, that's probably not very encouraging, but that's how long it took me to get pregnant after going off birth control. During that time, I found out I had PCOS, and just before I found out I was pregnant, I had finally come to terms with never getting pregnant and had just told my parents they would never be grandparents.

From my experience, doctors don't really worry about your ability to conceive unless you've been trying for more than 1 year.

Joan - posted on 03/18/2012

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No worries! My husband and I were like you and your husband. We both had children outside of the marriage but what I didn't know is that my tubes had become scarred. So after trying naturally we did 4 cycles of IVF...(the 4th was successful w/boy twins but THEN I found out that I had an incompetent cervix and couldn't hold 2 babies at once so I lost one at 17 wks). BUT I NEVER gave up and NEVER thought that I wouldn't get pregnant (a positive attitude is key). The nurses suggested psych come visit me in hospital because I was so cheerful after losing the first baby and most people are depressed and crying etc. but what they didn't understand was that I still had one baby and I needed to be mentally healthy for his sake...it was still a blessing). To make a long story even longer, lol...the 2nd baby was born early due to infection from the placenta of the 1st baby and only lived in the hospital for 5 wks. I STILL (though I definitely had my moments of "why me") was extremely positive...I KNEW that I was going to get pregnant. Even though we had exhausted our savings so there weren't going to be anymore IVF cycles.



Well, 1 month after losing the 2nd baby, I became pregnant naturally with twins!! We thought it was a fluke until the twins were 3 mos. old and I found out that I was pregnant AGAIN! LOL! Yes...today we laugh and say, "Careful what you wish for..." because I had 3 babies ages 1 and under! And I would do it all over again!



Point is...(and I can't stress this enough) a positive attitude is KEY!! Yes, those negative thoughts will creep in when you're feeling sorry for yourself (you're allowed) or you're attending yet ANOTHER baby shower, and that's OK, as long as you acknowledge it and replace the negative thought with a positive one...visualize yourself already having this baby as often as possible...it's fun and helps you to stay positive. Picture yourself laughing at your hubs when the baby barfs on him, picture the baby's 1st steps whatever you need to do!



Good luck!

Joani Plenty

Candice - posted on 03/18/2012

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I had my first daughter when I was 21 and it took 2 years to get pregnant with my second. I felt just as defeated as you. All my friends were getting pregnant so easily and we tried so hard! Finally I accepted it wasn't going to happen and stopped worrying about it. Next thing you know it happened!! :) my advice is have fun trying. Don't make it work and the only thing you think about. It will happen all in good time. I was perfectly healthy and ideal age for conceiving and still took 2 years;) best of luck. Be patient:)

Alesia - posted on 03/15/2012

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With my daughter it took us a whole year!! I think that was due to the fact that I had been on birth control and it had really messed up my cycle. After having her I never went back on birth control cuz it made me CRAZY!! She is now 2 and we decided to try for another and it took us about 3 months. So I really think that birth control plays a big role in TTC.

Shuilen - posted on 03/15/2012

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i've been trying for 1 yr + now and yet still no luck. im 33 this year and my husband is 40. i want a child so badly since the day we get married, but we are not financially stable, so we put on hold for 5 yrs. i've been to my GP and asked for clomid but the doctor not encourage me to take it, instead advised me to try naturally for 2 yr, it break my heart not sure how much longer i need to try. been thinking whether to buy clomid online but not so sure whether is safe or not?



how i wish i can turn back the clock and much more younger. good luck to u.

Janice - posted on 03/14/2012

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I completely agree Veronika. I have a 30-32 day cycle and ovulate around day 18 or 19. It is important to learn about your own cycle when trying to conceive.

Veronika - posted on 03/14/2012

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@Tina Your dr is wrong. The 14 days is a statistical

probability not an exact science. I ovulate between day 8 and day 12 and have gotten pregnant 3 times according to that schedule. It is important to know your own body and its routines. Everyone is different.

Brandy - posted on 03/13/2012

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Doing too much may actually be your problem ! The doc told us once to not do it more than once every three days around ovulation time to keep sperm count up , we are now parents of three children under 4 years old so it seems to work ! Good luck and relax

Amy - posted on 03/13/2012

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It took us 5 years of trying and then was able to get pregnant via fertility doctor. Then after 8 years of not using anything we got a super surprise. My kids are now 13, 12, and 2.5 years old. Post a reply!

Laura - posted on 03/13/2012

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Odd as this sounds, you might be "doing it" too much. During the 7-day span of pre-ovulation, ovulation and post-ovulation try "doing it" every other day or even every third day....his little swimmer production pool needs recovery time to produce healthy, viable sperm. You should use NO personal care products during this week (just wash externally as you normally would). Sperm are actually quite fragile and in these situations need all the encouragement they can get.



Me? I had unprotected sex twice, once for each kid...but truly, we were the odd folks.



Good luck to you. If, after a full year of trying, you both should have an initial evaluation.

Lara - posted on 03/13/2012

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No offense, but there are people out there that try for 10+ years and spend their life savings. For me ttc 6 mo is nothing, it's not even to the point where you'll be sent to an Infertility specialist (that's at a year). It took 2-1/2 yrs for DD for me and 2+ years for DS, with major cost for drugs for both.

Johnny - posted on 03/13/2012

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Two months the first time after having been told I was infertile. Oops, they were wrong. Nine months the second time, with one miscarriage along the way.

Momma Of 4 - posted on 03/13/2012

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Thanks Tona however... i have been irregular since beong off birth control at the beginning of October.

TINA - posted on 03/13/2012

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Oh and btW it is 14 days from the first day of your period that you ovulate. A dr informed me that all women, if they ovulate, follow this cycle. The best time to try is within two days before and two days after. Meaning in those five days go wild. Lol and the best advice for anyone w/o fertility issues is to have fun and try not to make it a duty or chore or you will both resent it.

TINA - posted on 03/13/2012

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Oh and btW it is 14 days from the first day of your period that you ovulate. A dr informed me that all women, if they ovulate, follow this cycle. The best time to try is within two days before and two days after. Meaning in those five days go wild. Lol and the best advice for anyone w/o fertility issues is to have fun and try not to make it a duty or chore or you will both resent it.

TINA - posted on 03/13/2012

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I use an app called "my days" to prevent pregnancy and ive been all forms of birth control for six months a friend used it to conceive. Within three months she got pregnant. It tracks your period and pretty accuratly determines your most fertile days. Its a free app so maybe worth a shot.

Sherry - posted on 03/13/2012

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I wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant again, after my first born son died of prematurity in 1991, but I did get a surprise many years later and have my son, Kenny, who is healthy, other than his eyesight. So... I guess you could say it took me 18 years to get pregnant this time.

Sharon - posted on 03/13/2012

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11 months and 11 very frustrating negative HPTs with our first. Very nearly ended up on Clomid. The 2nd time, we figured it'd take a while, maybe even longer since I was older and fatter. But nope, FIRST SHOT!! So you never know, and clearly history means nothing. A friend took 18 months for her 1st, and only 2 months for her 2nd. My in-laws both have fertility problems, but they finally succeeded after 2 years (I think she did use Clomid eventually, but I'm not sure and that wouldn't have helped the sperm issues anyway). :) I know it's frustrating and disappointing, but hang in there. If no luck after a year, there are simple interventions to try first (like Clomid). And I agree with other posters in that I've heard great things about ovulation testers. It would've been too expensive for us, though, because my cycle is very erratic. GOOD LUCK!!!

Karen - posted on 03/12/2012

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My first pregnancy (in 2007) took 9mths after stopping the pill (I was on it for just under 18mths). I got just over 8 weeks with that pregnancy before I lost it, the second took 13mths in 2008, (there was a time where I was not TTC because of medications) - that one lasted only 6 weeks.

I got pregnant again only 3 months later and carried my daughter to 37w 5d weighing in 8Lb 13oz having an emergency c-section 4th August 2009 - she is very healthy!

In 2010 I had 2 incomplete miscarriages - the first was 6mths after the birth, and was lost in March, and the second was 8mths after the loss, but I wasn't aware it was incomplete until June, so technically it was only 4mths after the surgery. The next pregnancy lasted 7weeks and from the time of the surgery to my current pregnancy was 14mths.

Just for my pregnancies it took from 3 to 14 months, different people have different cycles and differing fertility patterns - my OBGYN gave us the best advice "just have lots of sex!" (We also used "Maybe Baby" saliva ovulation tester.)

Of course, you should always go to a specialist if you have concerns.. Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 03/12/2012

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5 years of actively trying!!! Decided we weren't going to be blessed with a child and gave up. Then BAM pregnant right away.

Erin - posted on 03/12/2012

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With my second, it took 9 months for us to conceive. It was a very trying time for both of us, but I used something called the "OV Watch" and was pregnant just 2 months later. Research it - easy to use, minimal expense (was even covered under our Health Flex plan). Best of luck!

Anna - posted on 03/12/2012

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I don't believe concieving the first time has anything to do with your chances of conceiving the second time. I know people who easily conceived the first time but had to go through IVF the second time. At the same time, I have a friend who went through IVF the first time but conceived accidentally the second time when her son was only 8 months old. However, 6 months is not a long time at all. I wouldn't start worrying until you've been trying for at least one year. After all, there's only one day a month during which women ovulate and then there are a whole bunch of other components that come into play for conception to actually work. Good luck!

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