How long does it take to consider my baby daddy's girlfriend a step mother?

Ashton - posted on 04/09/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




When I was 17 I met this 18 year old guy who I was crazy over, he was equally crazy over me. I am now 24 and he will be 26. We ended up getting pregnant right away just to suffer a miscarriage. After that we decided that what we wanted was a baby. So we got pregnant again. October 2005 we were blessed with a healthy baby boy. When he turned 2 we decided to try for another so by that spring we were pregnant this time we had a baby girl December 2008. I like to think that everything was perfect when really it wasn't. The whole relationship my boyfriend suffered through addiction issues regarding several substances. Not only that but he was also a cheater. And to make matters worse he decided to join a gang when our daughter just turned two. That was the last straw for me, I packed up and moved myself and my two children 200 kms away to a bigger city. I have been in this new city for almost nine months. He has barely helped me at all since I left. But there are still the few occasions where he would call and I would allow him to come see us or we would go see him. My situation gets even more complicated because now he has a new girlfriend that he has moved into his mothers house. Even though she lives there I have gone and visited many times. I have also let my children go visit and she was there. After a couple times I decided that I don't want this 19 year old girl to be apart of my children's lives. This girl being only nineteen already has a criminal record, she's in the same gang as my ex, she has a 6 year old child that she doesn't take care of. There are many factors that have lead me to the conclusion that I don't want her near my children. I'm not sure if what i'm doing is the right thing? I have told my ex that as long as she's around my children won't be going to visit, Is this to much to ask for?


Linda - posted on 04/09/2012




If your ex and his girlfriend are both in a gang, that is not a safe place for your children. I wouldn't let them go over there. If he wants to see his children, have him come ALONE to visit you.


View replies by

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/10/2012




Sounds like you are handling this right. I would not want her involved in my kids lives either, but you still need to work out letting him see his children. Maybe at your house or on neutral grounds. She is NOT a stepmother until they get married. i would have no issue seekinbg legal council on this matter. Good luck!

Ashton - posted on 04/10/2012




I am in the process of custody through court which outlines supervised visits. My court date is Thursday so I hope all goes well for me. I think that my children would be better off if he wasn't a part of their lives period. He's not a role model of any sort and I do not wish to have my children look up to him in any way.

Dove - posted on 04/09/2012




I would not be refusing visitations, but my children would not be going over THERE unless a court order was forcing me to send them. He can come see his kids at your house or another neutral and SAFE location. I'd probably even offer to pay for his gas (or at least half) to come to your area to see the kids. He does not sound like he's in a safe environment for children... regardless of the new girlfriend.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms