How long does it take to feel emotionally normal again?

Kendra - posted on 03/30/2011 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I'm a new mom to a beautiful 8wk old baby boy, and was wondering when this emotional rollercoaster will come to a stop. I've never been more happy and I melt when I look at my son. The only problem is I get weepy and tired, then happy again. I am real snappy towards my fiance. I feel guilty for no apparent reason. I feel like I'm going bonkers..... I may have ppd but I don't want to take anti-depressents. My moods are seriously so up and down that it's driving me nuts. I mean shouldn't I be 100% happy since I have a healthy baby boy. I feel guilty for getting down. HELP

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Susan - posted on 04/03/2011

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your tired , happy , overwhelmed , all these feelings coming at you at once lack of sleep at first adds to it . Take a short nap when he sleeps in the day time. This is a very happy time in your life also the baby changes and grows more in the first year. Talk to other new moms at the playground or at church it helps to have a friend who is going through what you are it really helps some church's have a mom tot time classes or baby and me classes for very little cost or small fee. You don't really need to attend the church I think. Check the newspaper also for mom and baby clubs. It really helps to have a friend to cry with when you are feeling overwhelmed. I'm 58 and back in the day my best friend had her baby 3 months after I had mine . We were on the phone a lot talking over things about the kids. you need a woman to talk to guys don't understand what we are going through like another woman will. Good Luck Susie

User - posted on 04/01/2011

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When you consider the huge life changing event that's happened to you, it's no wonder it takes a while for your emotions to settle down. Not to mention the effects of sleep deprivation, possibly not eating properly yourself and the worry about whether you're doing everything right. At least, that's how it was for me!

It's true that getting some fresh air and gentle exercise every day helps, as does getting a good level of support from your partner or other family members.

Kendra - posted on 03/31/2011

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I thank you guys SO much! It feels good to know I'm not going crazy and that it's pretty normal. I have never been one for meds, but I do know they help some ppl! I don't think I'm depressed because some of the symptoms are... no desire to get up in the morning and face the day, and not being able to enjoy the things you normally would. haha these are the only two I don't have out of the whole list. Anyways I am happy to get up and take care of my son and I still enjoy my hobbies. Another symptom was thoughts of harming your child and that thought has most definitely NEVER crossed my mind, so I think it's just going to take some time. I love Walter so much and seriously never thought I was capable of making something so beautiful. I've heard exercising and eating right helps a lot so I'm going to start doing that more. Bye bye fast food and all the goodies I craved while pregnant :) Thanks again fellow mommas! Feel so much better!! :D

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i think that you should give yourself some more time. if, after 3 months you still feel like that then mention it to your doctor. they may say it's ok, or they may send you to counselling or put you on anti depressants temporarily. i had to take them for a while and i hated it but it was for the best and after 6 months i came off them and was ok

Cheyenne - posted on 04/02/2011

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you arent alone. my son is 14 months old and i still have emotional roller coasters. although im the main person who cares for my son so its hard. moms always have the hardest times because most of the time we get up to feed our baby in the middle of the night, or take care of them when they are sick. so along with little sleep your bound to be moody. just know its ok to feel like this. every women goes through it one time or another. as long as you love your son and take care of him really thats all that counts

Elfrieda - posted on 03/31/2011

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For me it was 5 months before I felt human, and 8 months before I really started to get into being a mom and not just feeling overwhelmed all the time. I found that a lot of it depends on how much sleep one gets. Do what you can to get more sleep. It helps more than you might think.

Tinker1987 - posted on 03/31/2011

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Yeah its soo normal.when i braught my son for his 2 month Immunisations the health nurse asked me a few questions and they even give you a questionare to see if your depressed and how your coping motherhoood is amazing but it changes you totally, Like i went from working fulltime to bascially never leaving the house because i had baby so it was a adjustment. not to mention your horomones take awhile to get back in check after baby. Im glad your feeling better, and as the other lady posted,once you get in more of a routine and get all the mom confidence things will go back to normal.

Tinker1987 - posted on 03/30/2011

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I went through this,my son is 4 months old now and im finally alot better, my depression was mainly from dealing with the aftermath of a 4th degree tare.it took months to heal and im still healing and seeing dr's over it. but emotionally im feeling myself again.I was offered Anti depressents many times, my dr even encouraged my mom to talk me into it since i wouldnt listen to him but i was really not wanting to be on them.as long as your talking to someone ANYONE. you will get through it. you need to release any feelings or emotions. :)

Carolyn - posted on 03/30/2011

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your body has just been through hell, as a new mother you are ecstatic about your baby and all the joy he brings, but as Kendra, life as you know has been flipped upside down, smashed to bits and than rammed by a bus, all while you are trying to figure out your baby, yourself in your new role, the changes to your relationship, your body, and everything in between. Now add being sleep deprived on top of it all !

I am a frist time mom as well , Logan is just about 10 months, and I remember feeling the exact same way for a few months. But the more confidence I gained as a mom, the more i got to know my baby, the more my hormones settled and we got into a groove, the more my moods stabilized and the less crazy I felt.

I would suggest talking to your doctor about PPD, you may not want antidepressants, but it can atleast give you some clarity in the event that it is the case, give you some insight into your feelings, and help you self monitor or your partner monitor you in the event it becomes severe. Having the information will not hurt, it will only help.

All in all, give yourself sometime, ask your partner for some patience and understanding ( lord knows i reminded mine on a daily basis and not necessarily in the nicest ways sometimes LOL ) and love that baby.

Sarah - posted on 03/30/2011

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I don't really have an answer just want to let you know you are not alone. I have 4 children and I do go through this every time and it has veried on the time it took me to get emotionally stable again. My last child is a priemie 3 months early he wieghed 2pds2oz and spent 2 months in the NICU...so I have the same thoughts that make me just as upset with myself cause I keep tell myself he's alive and hes home isn't that enough? Beating myself up over being wacked out isn't helpful and I tell my husband that I'm sorry ALL the time like it's my fault I'm like this and it's not so like I said no answer for you really but you aren't alone and I know from my other three kiddos that it DOES get better it just depends I guess on how much support you get from friends and family.

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