How many of you get along with your sister in laws?

Andrea - posted on 12/10/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

864

39

214

I am just wondering if anyone else has a sister in law from Heck? My hubby's brothers wife.. She hates me and always has.. It started when we found out we were expecting our son.. Her daughter was also prego. She got very nasty with me telling me how much a baby was going to cost and that i better not be dropping our son off on our mother in law all the time.. ( which i never did she had to call and ask me for him) i am the type of woman who i made this baby and i am going to take care of them not let anyone else do it for me... My hubby now and I had only been together 3 months when we got prego ( wasn't planned but the best thing) we have now been married a year and together 3 almost 4 years... I didn't let her bother me until she got in a fist fight with my hubby at our renewal of vow this Sept. ( we had just lost his mom a week before hand) VERY HARD DAY!!!! Him and I had gotten married the year before so that his mom could be part of it also.. We then had our daughter march 30 09 who was born 4 weeks early with gastroschisis.. ( was first biolagical granddaughter..) My sister in law got very upset over this. She was not nice to me at all after having my daughter.. I feel it was due to the fact that her daughter had a girl 7months before our son was born.. So it took a little bit away from her granddaughter.. I guess what i am asking is anyone else have a sister in law that is just rude.. Her and i have not spoken since our wedding and i will not let her or her daughter near our kids.. Her daughter said she wants me and my kids dead.. nice family right? I know things would be different if my mother in law was still her.. She would not have any of this, or stand for this... I just am not sure what to do I want to be able to have x-mas with my AWSOME father in law and be able to let my brother in law know his only neice and nephew.. Any help would be awsome.. I do not want to have induvigual x-mas's.. would love to be albe to get along with them long enough for that... Just not sure that i can put it all behind me..

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Erica - posted on 12/13/2009

121

14

19

I get along great with my brother's wife but I'm going to give you some different advice: kill her with kindness. I know that is easier said than done but it will drive her crazy and you'll look like the bigger person. Compliment her and tell her how cute her grandson is, ask to see pictures, do the unexpected, etc. She probably won't know what hit her and you'll feel good about setting an example for your kids and not getting into a fight with someone that is SO not worth it.

And if that doesn't work, tell her where to stick it. :)

Good luck!

Leslie - posted on 12/13/2009

2

9

0

NO WAYY!!! My sister-in-law (YUK makes me sick to call her that!) is a sick individual who is manipulative and tries to be controlling. I have not spoken to my brother or his wife in about 2 yrs..even since she got psycho on me for my 4yr old son making her a birthday card instead of us buying one! Yes..you heard rite! She started WWIII and left me a nasty phone message and e-mail telling me to stay away from them and her kids and that I was a monster b/c I would intentionally stress out a pregnant women! She's crazy. this was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. She has done many things to me to ruin any relationship with my brother..she accused me of planting pot in her apartment when she was in the police academy (in which she quit as soon as she graduated), she purposly asked my husband to be her 1st child's godmother b/c I did not ask her. She has always been spiteful and a liar..and she drags everyone into the fight. SO...to answer your question..you are definately not alone!!! I am sad that I do not see my brother or my niece and nephews but this has gone on for about 10yrs and I am just DONE!!!

Amanda - posted on 01/03/2010

91

32

4

All it takes, is your hubby to put his foot down. The minute my sis in laws do anything to piss me off, my hubby will open his mouth.

Stacey - posted on 12/11/2009

2

6

0

Dear Me.
Boy your story sounds just like my life, I not only have one sister in law but I have two, and you know the old saying two is company three is a crowd. Its so true. Both of my sister in laws hate me to and did everything possible to break my husband and I up from day one. By the way my in-laws were no help in fact she acutally used to instigate everything until my husband finally stood up to them and told them all off.but it took at least 6 years to do so. The best advice I have for you is to go on with your life.
You have a little one to raise and that is way more important not to mention you really dont want them to see all the fighting it really hurt my sons alot. It takes a while to move on and to adjust not to having them around but My life is so much better now and my family is so much happier without all of the stress. Sounds like his sister has her own jealousie issues. That my dear you will never change. So dont waste your time trying focus on your husband and your family and yourself. You can be as sweet as pie to her she is still going to hate you trust me mine still does and bent over backwords to be nice to her, sometimes its sad around the holidays but you know what I got over it really fast and they are the one missing out. God Bless you on this journey
it shall not be a easy one and when things get tuff hug your baby and your husband make your marriage stronger and stronger so you can survive what she will dish out next. Stacey in Connecticut.

Christy - posted on 11/04/2012

1

0

0

Girl I not married but have been with my man who i call hubby for 12 years. So I consider his sister to be what the law would call sister in law me personally I consider her a evil person who will never be allowed around my children. I could sit here and tell you all the issues we have but that would take forever. We live with parents to help them out with there 98 year old great grandmother, disabled Vietnam Vet Father, and her oldest son. Her two youngest live down the street from us since the youngest was two weeks old and gives them no financial support but thinks she is #1 Mom bc she keeps the two youngest one night a weekend. Well for some reason she has always hated me, about every three months she comes around starting drama and it usually coincides with her needing a large sum of money from her great grandmother( who she of and her piece of crap father of the two youngest who has stolen from everyone in this family has manipulated out of a minimum of 50 grand) or her parents. If she doesn't get her way somehow I am to blame. It's CRAZY. She is delusional like when she tells a story it becomes her reality. Well she wants a new car now because the one that she has now that has been paid for by her family and destroyed by her and her POS man so she has now started her drama again and I like you am concerned about the holidays. I have been in those kids lives since they were born and they love me no matter how much she tries to put stuff in their heads. Everyone keeps telling me to ignore it but she is crazy and I am passive thats how i have managed this long but there is only so much a girl can take. They say just ignore her unless she says something directly to me and focus on the kids, but what about all the lies and manipulations she tries to tell the few members of the family who don't know the reality of the situation. Maybe we can give each other advice.

27 Comments

View replies by

Stacy - posted on 01/03/2010

154

15

17

I guess I'm really lucky because all of my sister-in-laws (6 all together, counting his brothers' wives as well) get along just fine. There might be one that is sort of miffed at me because I didn't want her to bring her grandchild with her and her daughter to my wedding (no children were invited at all), but other than that we all get along fine. One lives upstairs from us and the another around the corner; no issues. They all check on me and ask about me now that I'm pregnant - all have offered to help with anything I may need. My mom says I am so lucky and would gladly trade her in-laws for mine any day.

Andrea - posted on 01/03/2010

864

39

214

Quoting Amanda:

All it takes, is your hubby to put his foot down. The minute my sis in laws do anything to piss me off, my hubby will open his mouth.



  Mine did the day of out wedding that is when she attacked him punching and hitting and tearing his vest.. So that didn't work either... She is a NUT job from HECK..



  My hubby has talked to her many many times and she just says i will do what ever the F*** i want.. She has not respect for any thing or any one.. I have done the try and play nice thing but got nothing.. My hubby has tried the badass and tell her that isn't welcome at our home..



   She is crazy... I just have told his whole family that i will not longer be attending any thing that she will be attending.. ( my father in law, Hubby, and her hubby) I decided that i can no longer hide behind my hubby but i need to stand up for what i feel is safe and best for my childern and myself..



  Thank you all for the advice... Maybe I will still have to try a few of these things... Will let you all know if anything works out for us...



Take care



Andrea

Andrea - posted on 01/02/2010

864

39

214

Quoting Sherri:

My sister in law is 2 years older than me, and i married her older brother who is 5 years older than me. In school and while we were dating we did not get along well.. i aksed her to be in our wedding, and we were cordial, not best friends. Then i had her nephews and we were talking more and keeping on touch, (she lives out of state) so we were getting along much better. Than last year she asked me to plan her wedding, and be her maid of honor.. and we have been getting along terrifically. Now i know alot more about her and vice versa because we were talking all the time about the wedding and the boys over email. IM sorry you are having such a bad time with her.. maybe sit down wither and ask why she doesnt like you.. if there is something you can do to ameliorate anything? Good luck. im glad i get along with all my inlaws



    I have done the sit down and talk thing with her and she just gets up and walks way...  My hubby and father in law say she is just a rude person and i now see what they mean.. So I have decided that till she contacts me i will no longer be speaking with her my kids and I do not need some one like that around us..



   I get along very very well with my father in law.. He and I (kids and hubby) do lost of things together. When my mother in law was alive we spent alot alot of time together.. ( she passed on 9-8-09) a week after our sons 2nd bday..  So has been a very hard couple of months on all..



   We got married only a week or two after she passed away.. I wanted to pospone it but i was told that they and she would never forgive me if I did.. So went ahead with it as planned.. I felt horrible but my father in law would not let me do any thing differently..



  I think that is alot of my sister in laws problem is.. I was only part of the family for 3 years before she passed away and my mother in law and i were very very close.. She was and always will be one of my best friends..  I know that sister in law has a problem with the fact she has been in the family for 10 years and wasn't welcomed as fast as i was..



   To me she is jsut being childish and I have tryed every thing in my power to get along with her.. she just don't like me.. I am sure every thing will work out in the long run...



   I am glad to hear some people do get to have a wonderful realtionship with there sister in laws.. Just am glad that my brothers wife and I get along like sisters... She was my maid of honor in our wedding...



  Thank you all for the advice and letting me know that i am not all alone in this either..



  Take care and best wishes to all..



  Thank you,



Andrea



 

Sherri - posted on 01/01/2010

49

8

4

My sister in law is 2 years older than me, and i married her older brother who is 5 years older than me. In school and while we were dating we did not get along well.. i aksed her to be in our wedding, and we were cordial, not best friends. Then i had her nephews and we were talking more and keeping on touch, (she lives out of state) so we were getting along much better. Than last year she asked me to plan her wedding, and be her maid of honor.. and we have been getting along terrifically. Now i know alot more about her and vice versa because we were talking all the time about the wedding and the boys over email. IM sorry you are having such a bad time with her.. maybe sit down wither and ask why she doesnt like you.. if there is something you can do to ameliorate anything? Good luck. im glad i get along with all my inlaws

Kristy Lee - posted on 12/31/2009

176

55

8

thanks ladies, we have decided to just denie her as a relative. my husband hate and i mean hates her. way before any of this even happiend. his always had trouble with her.. sometime you just get these kinda rude arse pple and sadly sometime we just have to b related to one another.. im still furious....

Jane - posted on 12/13/2009

353

7

35

I love my sister-in-law but we do have our differences. Sometimes for the sake of everyone you may have to be the bigger person & just suck it up & at least try to control the situation the best you can. All I have to say is everyone has some sort of issue w/ someone in their family (if they say they don't they're lying) so you're not alone. I know it's hard but try to be patient with her if you can so your brother-in-law can get to know your kids. I would imagine this must be hard on your hubby & his brother so try to keep their relationship in mind too! Good luck & I hope your x-mas goes well!

[deleted account]

I cannot identify. I LOVE LOVE LOVE all my inlaws. Sorry to hear about your situation. you may wind up having to put someone in their place.

Chinggay - posted on 12/13/2009

29

0

0

Could the reason be jealousy? Try to avoid her. And if you have to, limit your interaction with her.

Angela - posted on 12/13/2009

2

13

0

My personal experience is when I initially partnered up with my husband that everyone was to get along with eachother, be there for eachother, help and suppot eachother. Boy was I wrong, I have never thought sister in laws could feel so insecure and jelous. Particularly when I gave the news that I was pregnant, it was a rude awakening that in the real world, people especially sister in laws do not embrace the idea very well. Riddled with jeoulosy, they have made me feel really uncomfortable. Five years on, I have now accepted it for what it is and created my own life with my husband and family, luckily my husband knows how they are like and we are able to just live our own lives and be happy. When there is a family event I try to act like nothing bothers me, and try not dread family occasions. Think that it's only two to three hours of your time and the rest of the day is yours.

Joyce - posted on 12/12/2009

4

5

0

Quoting Andrea:

I am glad to know that i am not alone in this.. I thought I was the only one who was hated so badly by her sister in law.. It is like if the world isn't all about her then she is just rude.. Thank you all for letting me know that i am not alone.. Thank you..



No thank you  I didnt think any one else had sister-in -law like I did take your stand and stick to it  good luck 

Charlene - posted on 12/11/2009

631

29

25

Maybe you should invite your father-in-law over to your house for some quality Christmas time withOUT the grinch.(hehe) Even if it's Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, that way Grampy wouldn't have to miss out on seeing his Grandkids and you wouldn't have to deal with your sister-in-law. :)

I can't really relate though, as I adoooore my sister-in-law. She's only six months younger than me though, so maybe that has something to do with it. Or maybe it's because she's the only girl and she's happy for a 'sister'. :P

Andrea - posted on 12/11/2009

864

39

214

I am glad to know that i am not alone in this.. I thought I was the only one who was hated so badly by her sister in law.. It is like if the world isn't all about her then she is just rude.. Thank you all for letting me know that i am not alone.. Thank you..

Stacey - posted on 12/11/2009

2

6

0

I am with you there sister it has been 13 years for me and the last three have been really nice and quiet. I love it and my husband feels the same way to.

Joyce - posted on 12/11/2009

4

5

0

I have 3 sister-in-law like that at this time I dont talk to any of them . My husband doesn t want any thing to do with then to. Good luck it been like this for me for 35 yr and it will be 35 more yr for me to I have nothing to say to them after what they put me through .

Heather - posted on 12/10/2009

13

28

4

My dear you are not alone. My husband-to-be and I were pregnant 6 months into our relationship. His sister, sister-in-law and mother all had a problem with our relationship and the fact that we were pregnant. It got even worse when the sister-in-law found out that she could not have anymore children. I have had the comments from the family that I trapped "C" by getting pregnant, that I was a poor mother, that they would fight to have my son taking away from me, that my fiance should "train me" as if I was an animal. Everything I have received from that side of the family has been negitive and like you I am torn over Christmas as well. It's something that you will have to talk about with your husband because it is touchy ground to be on. One thing I repeat to myself is "The ones you let angre you control you". At the end of the day my happiness has to be for my child and my husband to be and you can't focus on the negitive. Stay positive even if that means not spending xmas there maybe starting your own family traditions or setting a time limit. What you dont want to do is look back throught every holiday or special occassion with sourness because of her. Wishing you all the best of luck. I am always here to talk if you need.

Amber - posted on 12/10/2009

10

5

0

I haven't had the same problem as you, but I would try ignoring them... not just what they say... I mean completely ignoring the fact that they exist if you see them at your father-in-law's. That will usually upset the smaller-minded people more then having a word war. As far as her daughter saying that she wants you and your kids dead? I would have told her that if she ever said anything like that again, I would call the police and report it as a death threat. Most people are all talk, and usually shut up when faced with consequences. I hope this helps.

Sharon - posted on 12/10/2009

11,585

12

1315

Quoting kristy:

one comment was put in the tellagrams she said and
i quote '
' take a picture because this will be the last time you get the upper hand on me!! ''



Here, in the states, you could have sued her for ruining your wedding party.



 



I forget the exact laws, but breach of contract was one.  I read a news story years ago where something similar happened and the bride sued the family (inlaws) who backed out at the last second.



It costs thousands of dollars to have tuxes, fitted dresses, meals etc.  I remember the implied contract part because the mom took the kids to be fitted for their wedding finery.



At the least, your SIL would have found all her tires flat had I been in your shoes.

Alina - posted on 12/10/2009

151

36

31

wow! i thought my inlaws were bad! my mother in law turned the whole family against me. that is 9 siblings of my hubbys that i get flack from. i am so sorry. at least they are coming around, i think.....they were angry because they didnt like his first wife and she went nuts and walked out on the whole family. the baby at the time was only 4 weeks old. therefore they didnt want to give me a chance. i was not the one they picked for him. but i at least dont have them or their children acting so immature as to wishing death on my children and me. and lately it is getting better. i hope things calm down for you. bless your little babies and you both as a couple as well and i hope things work out. sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it.

Kristy Lee - posted on 12/10/2009

176

55

8

one comment was put in the tellagrams she said and

i quote '

' take a picture because this will be the last time you get the upper hand on me!! ''

Sharon - posted on 12/10/2009

11,585

12

1315



Quoting Andrea:

How many of you get along with your sister in laws?

I am just wondering if anyone else has a sister in law from Heck? My hubby's brothers wife.. She hates me and always has..



Same here.



 It started when we found out we were expecting our son.. Her daughter was also prego. She got very nasty with me telling me how much a baby was going to cost and



that i better not be dropping our son off on our mother in law all the time..



Yeah, again.  Same here.  apparently her issue was if her mom was watching MY kids then her mom couldn't watch HER kids.  UGH.



( which i never did she had to call and ask me for him) i am the type of woman who i made this baby and i am going to take care of them not let anyone else do it for me... My hubby now and I had only been together 3 months when we got prego ( wasn't planned but the best thing) we have now been married a year and together 3 almost 4 years... I didn't let her bother me until she got in a fist fight with my hubby at our renewal of vow this Sept. ( we had just lost his mom a week before hand) VERY HARD DAY!!!! Him and I had gotten married the year before so that his mom could be part of it also.. We then had our daughter march 30 09 who was born 4 weeks early with gastroschisis.. ( was first biolagical granddaughter..) My sister in law got very upset over this. She was not nice to me at all after having my daughter.. I feel it was due to the fact that her daughter had a girl 7months before our son was born.. So it took a little bit away from her granddaughter.. I guess what i am asking is anyone else have a sister in law that is just rude.. Her and i have not spoken since our wedding and i will not let her or her daughter near our kids.. Her daughter said she wants me and my kids dead.. nice family right? I know things would be different if my mother in law was still her.. She would not have any of this, or stand for this... I just am not sure what to do I want to be able to have x-mas with my AWSOME father in law and be able to let my brother in law know his only neice and nephew.. Any help would be awsome.. I do not want to have induvigual x-mas's.. would love to be albe to get along with them long enough for that... Just not sure that i can put it all behind me..



 



You'll be a better a better woman than I am if you can find a way to forgive a woman who wished death on your children.  On me?  yeah ok, whatever.  But wishing death on my babies?  I don't fkn think so.



 



I think your best chance is to explain to your father in law that your SIL actually said out loud that she wished death on your children and you refuse to have anything to do with her but you hope he'll spend some time with you and your family so your grandkids have share these special family holidays with a grandparent they adore.



 



Your BIL is probably a lost cause but you could give him the same speech.





 

Kristy Lee - posted on 12/10/2009

176

55

8

Hello again... Denfently not!!!! my husband sister is a mental case lol.....



she was in my bridal party her two children were my paige boy and flower girl, anyway we had a disagreement, and she pulled herself and her children out!! Who would do that to their own CHILDREN!!!!! Any wya she tried to ruine my day but we ignored all her little smart arse comments on our day she didnt get any attention, cause thats what she wants, and she hated not getting it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms