Roxanne - posted on 05/15/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )
My daughter is 17 next week. She is very demanding of herself and is very responsible with her school work. She has taken in a lot of stress from trying to be independent, dealing with social anxieties, and the stress I have put on her being an involved parent. As a parent I have laid down restrictions that I feel are reasonable (no late nights during school nights unless there is an activity planned and midnight on the weekends and sometimes later depending on the circumstances). Unfortunately she hangs out with people much older than her and the friends her age seem to have no restrictions often being able to be out all night. This has been extremely difficult to deal with. Last October she had a breakdown and tried to hurt herself. Since then I have been a slave to my worries. She gets stressed and will take off in her car and drive. Once she drove 5 hours away and I had to meet her in between on the way back so she had a place to stay. She hates high school and in January she decided to graduate early (she is a HS junior). She will graduate with Honors this June and has been admitted to a good University which she will start in the Fall. Because of this she feels she should be able to do what ever she wants. She is trying to work with me but I am still worried often. I can't sleep until she comes home and the other day she was supposed to be home at 1am and showed up at 3am because she had to go get a friend that was drunk and couldn't drive. I applaud her being responsible but it is so hard on me. Last night she tells me she is gong to a party and will be there all night. It is with older kids and there will be drinking and she doesn't want to worry about driving. I am glad she is open with me but it is kind of hard to say that this is ok. The fact is she will be in college in 3 months living on her own and making these choices and I will not be involved. We communicate and she knows about drugs and drinking and driving and I do feel she is handling these things responsibly (except she is just 17!). I know every kid and family is different and there isn't a one size fits all solution but I feel like I can't do or say anything right although I have tried to give her a lot more freedoms. At times I just want to runaway because it is so hard. If you knew me you know I am not a quitter so these feelings do not go with my personality. All my other friends don't get it because there kids are homebodies or are struggling with different issues. I know it is finding a balance but I am so afraid she will have another breakdown. Is anyone else dealing with like circumstances? Thanks for your feedback.