How old is old enough...

User - posted on 02/06/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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How young is too young for kids to start the boyfriend & girlfriend stuff? My stepdaughter is 7 and is already concerned with having a boyfriend. There are other kids in her class who are and she wants to be in there with them. It wouldn't concern me as much except last summer she had a friend over and they were playing in her basement playroom, and when I checked on them DSD didn't come up right away and when she did her pants were inside out and she later admitted she took her pants off because they were playing boyfriend and girlfriend. We handled that by just Talking about how we dont take our clothes off with our friends because our bodies are private. We just tell her that she doesn't need to worry about boyfriends yet but she's a follower and there seems to be peer pressure there. Am I worrying over nothing or should I be concerned?

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User - posted on 02/07/2012

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Oh and I wanted to say, I do know that at some point kids get curious and start to explore their sexuality, and that IS normal at very young ages. But somehow playing doctor seems a whole lot more innocent than playing boyfriend and girlfriend! I will keep talking with her and will keep counseling in mind if we see any more red flags. Our family is overwhelmed right now with a series of intense medical events I've gone through in the past few months so I don't think I'll push it right now.

User - posted on 02/07/2012

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Thank you thank you. I teach third grade and thought it was terrible when my students would get wrapped up in such things but first grade? Ridiculous! I do think she sees too much on tv... Even the Disney shows for kids are too risqué in some cases I think. Girls learn to be snots and boys learn to be rude from shows aimed at school age kids!

Kat - posted on 02/07/2012

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7 is waaaaay too young to have a bf, does she watch programmes on tv that are more suitable for older teenagers, like the vampire ones? which are basiclly hyped up sex freaks, and also do her friends have older siblings? they maybe seeing things that there innocent little eyes shouldnt, and then going to school and telling everyone.

Kids these days are growing up way too fast. At 7 I was climbing trees and stuff lol.

Brianna - posted on 02/07/2012

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i think u need to keep talkin to her about it and maybe even consult a counciler for help about it aswell. in the mean time i would be telling her shes not allowed to have a boyfriend till shes 16 or 18.. thats what my parents did and even though i may of had boyfriends secretly before 16 it kept things from becoming serious because he wasnt able to come around so much be he was a secret.

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2012

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Karen, I think I would continue on with her in counseling. It may not seem to have a lot of change for the short term behaviours, but it can help her more in the long term, help her to deal with her feelings and teach her some healthy coping skills. Good luck!

User - posted on 02/07/2012

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Yes, she was six. The friend was a girl, and I talked with her mother right away. I also talked with SD's mom and she acted a little baffled. We've had concerns about what she has been exposed to at Mom's because of the company she's been known to keep, and the fact that she often takes the child to spend the night at her friend or boyfriend's house. We had taken her to counseling during kindergarten when she was exhibiting odd behaviors last year, and nothing came of it and the behaviors ceased. She also has a teenage half sister who is beginning to date so she may be emulating some of that. Nobody else seems concerned so I'm not sure how much I can do. Thank you for making me feel less crazy!

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2012

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I'm not necessarily saying she has been, but sometimes children who have been exposed to sexual abuse will act out inappropriately at young ages. I would be very concerned about where she even learned these behaviours.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/07/2012

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Exactly. They have no business being left in a room alone together. And, I am not sure that I would let that boy over again. I would certainly be talking to his parents, and informing them about what happened. But it was last summer, so not sure if I would address it this far out. It would possibly seem petty.

Bonnie - posted on 02/07/2012

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Yeah I would also be concerned. She can have friends who are boys, but that is it right now and she needs to know this. I think you have done well in the sense that you have explained that clothes don't come off.



I probably wouldn't leave them unattended.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/07/2012

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There is definitely reason for concern IMO. Have you talked to her mother about it? How has she been handling it? It sounds like it may be time for the sex talk. She is so young, but if she is already doing things like that, it may be time.

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