How should I deal with this?

Stacey_isabel - posted on 02/24/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




So, I am a single mother. I have a 6 month old baby and he goes to his dad's/grandparent's house every other weekend and spends one night with them. I work full time and when the baby goes to the sitter after he gets back he acts very violent and cries all day because he only wants to be held. When he is with me he is fine, he cries a little the first day and then he goes back to normal. It seems like the baby's dad doesn't make any decisions for himself. Every time he has a situation his parents get him out of it. I called his mother and explained that the sitters has been complaining about this and told her that this is affecting the baby, that i understand that they miss the baby and want to hold him all the time but it is not good for him because the sitter can not hold her 24/7 and when I am home with him I also do stuff around the house and I also can't hold him all the time. The thing is that her husband grabbed the phone and said "I hold the baby whenever I want" and the hung up the phone. I don't want to waste my time talking to the baby's dad because i feel like it is worthless. Please, any suggestions?


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Jodi - posted on 02/24/2014




As difficult as it is, unfortunately you have no say in how they manage your child in their home, just as they have no say in how you manage him. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the only person you can control is you and YOUR rules and schedule in YOUR home. You have 18 years of this - and I guarantee, that doesn't necessarily get easier.

It is normal for children to have an adjustment period when they come back from one parent and the routine changes. They do eventually get used to it, but in the meantime, it really is a pain, I understand that (been there).

You are going to have to talk to the babysitter. She needs to make allowances for this, and she needs to be more understanding. It's her job. No-one is telling her she must hold him 24/7. Surely she has other tools in her box!

Latoya - posted on 02/24/2014




If you have already reached out to the grandparents as well as the father, of your concerns and letting then know the baby is affected. Then either you may have to find someone else (prayerfully) because I know it's hard working and then finding someone to care for your child that is not familiar. Next, try having someone (baby sitter) or some one that knows the situation better and can explain that to them. Overall, I know that it can be frustrating but think about the baby and not the adults because in the end it's all what's best for the baby! I hope that this was of some help!

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