how should i explain to my boyfriend and his family that i don't want to replace his son?

User - posted on 08/06/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My boyfriend has a 2 year old son who isn't in his life. We met shortly after his divorce and his ex wife got full custody of there son. His parents have never met there grandson seeing as we live in Texas and he lives in California. We talked about having kids but i knew that would never happen. i told him about 3 years ago doctors told me that my body would never be able to support having kids, but he was certain that if we keep trying it would happen when the time was right. Just when we started to accept that it would never happen i got pregnant now i'm about 4 months pregnant and we finally told his parent that i was pregnant and the first thing his dad did was walk out of the room. yesterday he finally told me that his dad told him he didn't want to meet our baby until he meets his 1st born grandchild.. i kinda just felt like he was saying our baby wasn't as important to him and that hurt my feelings i just want them all to know i'm not trying to replace him but i don't know how to just say it...

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Carol - posted on 08/06/2012

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I think you have much more serious problems. You knew he wanted kids and it does not sound like you decided together to have one. He is the one who needs to talk to his family. What is he doing to keep his son in his life. If he just let the Mom move away and does not contribute financially and does not write, call, visit then he will not be a great father to your child either. Is is even safe for you to have this baby? Please get some counselling for yourself and your boyfriend ASAP

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