Jessica - posted on 07/22/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )
I have been married to my husband for 7 years. He has 4 children, 3 of which live with us full time. The older 2 are 10 and 11. They have lived mostly with us since 5 and 6. There mom and I got along great until the kids wanted to live with us. It is a wierd family disfunctional situation..she lived with my mother in law until about 4 years ago. Which I always felt was wierd but it was what it was. So, My husband feels it is important for us to be "family". I dont disagree for the sake of the kids. So, every year we have a family 4th of July party at our house. 1st year she came and made our then 8 year old watch her 2 year old so she could sit and do nothing. She is a terror. She tries to break important glass thing I have all over my house, tears apart the kids rooms, runs down the hall with hands or toys on the walls, etc. all while she does NOTHING to correct her. Then she told her son was soaking wet and she told him to go inside and get a towel himself. I have hardwood floors and so I asked her to get one for him. She said no and told him to get it again but just try not to get the floors wet. I had to stop what I was doing to get one for him. This year I told my husband she will be asked to leave and never come back if she acts like that and he can deal with the fallout. He supports me in my choice whatever it is. This year, she got drunk early and didnt watch her kids. I had to put up things I didnt want broken and at one point lock her 3 year old out of the house while I was trying to cook and she kept running through the kitchen. It was time to eat and I had to make her kids plates. The little girl kept bullying the neighbor girl who was trying to eat by taking her food away. She didnt eat her food and kept trying to feed the dogs food that could kill them despite being told several times to stop. At night, we had a bonfire and roasted marshmellows. The little girl kept pushing her way closer to the fire. I asked her to keep an eye on her so she didnt get hurt. She came out for like 1 minute and then went back in the house. I had to grab her at least 3 times before she fell in. I was the only adult outside until my husband's cousins husband came to help me. I am at the point where I dont want her in my house with that child ever again. I dont think it is fair that I am already raising her older 2 kids without help from her and I have to deal with your terrors destroying my house. For the kids or not, I am done! i will not have a 4th of july party EVER again if thats what it takes. I guess I was raised as I am raising our children that you respect others homes and leave them cleaner than when you arrived. Some people have no snese or manners. Am I wrong for not wanting her in my home? I feel I gave her a few chances to turn it around and she hasnt. She can see her kids when ever she wants. I am ok with spliting the 4th ever other year. I am DONE being disrespected in my own home. Is it her being disrespectful to me or being a bad parent? Am I overreacting? Do I owe it to my children to deal with it and get along. My husband supports me but he thinks I need to get over it and discipline the girl if I dont like what she is doing. I am a parent that believes that it is not your place to discipline my child when I am present. Any advice?? get over it or say she is not welcome?