How should I handle this fight with my ex on kids education?

Rashelle - posted on 11/05/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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This all started when I went to a meeting with my oldest sons special education teacher. My son struggles with short term memory and reading. There were other problems I started noticing too such as writing numbers in the wrong order or writing letters backwards. I asked the teacher if he could be dyslexic and she told me that most of the students in his class had the same isssues and there was nothing to worry about. They also told me that he will graduate high school with a 3rd or 4th grade level reading level was fine. I was furious!



The next month I made an appointment with a learning disability specialist to find out if my son was dyslexic. I let his father know as well and he didn't seem very interested in what I was doing. After the specialist did a series of tests she did confirm that he was dyslexic and that he was left ear dominate. He also reads just below a 2nd grade level. For years I have talked to his teachers and no one has said anything to me. All they tell me is that they are doing the best for him.



So I decided to see other school districts and found one that is about 34 min. away from where we live. This school district has a very good special education program with support groups and after school activities to help my son. They also have a sound system to help him with his hearing. I collected a lot of information to show my ex that moving the kids to a new school district would benefit the oldest and now my youngest may be having the same problems as well.



I had to do a mediation appointment because him and I can not get along at all. The meeting was heated and he finally said if you have proof that the school district is better I will let them go. So I dropped all the information in front of him and he scanned over it and said no that isn't enough. Then his argument is that I would be taking away his days but if I could find a way to keep the same amount of days he would let them go. I did and he still is not budging, I should mention we have joint legal custody but I have sole physical custody.



That was back in August. He stated that if he got his days he would let them go and I even worked with what he wanted but he still is not signing. We are due in court on November 30th and now I am finding out that he is working with the kids current school district to get everything my son needs. The school has very poor ratings and is on the verge on losing some of their budget so they are doing whatever it takes to keep my kids here. This is not fair and I am just lost. I worked so hard and now I am afraid that I may possibly lose this case because what he and the school are pulling. Has anyone been through this before?

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Jodi - posted on 11/05/2012

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Thanks for the clarification.



I think you need to see it as a positive sign that he is making what are obvious attempts to work with the school. Perhaps, you can say in court that this is the first time he has taken interest, and that you are concerned that once the court decision is made, he will suddenly disappear again, and you will once again struggle to gain his co-operation in relation to their education. You need to provide as much evidence as possible of the attempts you have already made with this school to address the issue, as well as your discussions with doctors and other schools as to what is best for your child. If you already have an alternative visitation available, so as not to interfere with his time with the children, make sure you have that as well. I am assuming the proceedings of the mediation are noted in some way?

Rashelle - posted on 11/05/2012

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I did try after the diagnosis and they told me that they are doing what they can but basically they don't have the budget. The issues really is that he says he will let them go and I am have been very convenient to his needs but he still will not let them go. Just this month he has taken an sudden in their education and their health now that we are down to the wire. This is a man who would have missed his daughters birth and go hunting.

Jodi - posted on 11/05/2012

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Actually, I have to agree with your ex. I think you should have made an attempt to work with his current school district to get what your son needs. Put a time limit on it, and if their attempts are not appropriate or meeting the needs, THEN talk about moving them.



If you did make an attempt to work with them after your received the appropriate diagnosis, then I apologise. But you didn't say that you had. I just think you should try that avenue first.

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