How to approach your spouse about your ADHD child?

Heather - posted on 09/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 8y/o son has every sign and symptom of inattentive ADHD. I have been told by his 1st and 2nd grade teachers that he is showing all the classic symptoms. My problem is my husband refuses to have him tested. While I agree with him that medicating him is not the way we want to raise our child, I am hoping some sort of individualized education plan, or behavior modification may be the best course of action. I cannot get any help for my child without his consent. How do I approach this, or even go behind his back and show him that a licensed professional believes this too

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User - posted on 09/06/2012

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I think you might have misunderstood. I don't want him medicated either, but he is not eligible for any assistance without a diagnosis. I can't convince dad to even have him tested

Sophia - posted on 09/06/2012

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I am sorry mom --- I know you want your husband to agree with you ( but ) sometimes mom knows best. Being tested dont mean medicating --- it's knowing how to help your child do better not only in school -- but in life.

Amanda - posted on 09/05/2012

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I went through a similar thing with my 4 yr old. I had doctors appointment after doctors appointment before I was referred on to a specialist.

My husband and my in laws (I have no family of my own where I live) refused to listen to me, told me it was me that wasn't coping and that I needed therapy and counselling to learn to deal with him and undo all the bad parenting mistakes I had made and caused my son to behave in the way he does.



I went ahead and scheduled my appointment anyway. They refused to talk to me for weeks. After I had my appointment and been backed up by someone who deals with kids with behavioural disorders they apologised. They still don't back me up 100% with him but I have a little bit more support than I did before.



Are you able to arrange a meeting with yourselves and the school to discuss your sons behaviour and maybe they can convince your husband that your son needs help???



I know my husband refused to listen to me, but once the behavioural specialist explained to him that there was a problem and my concerns were valid, gave us treatment options and put an action plan in place he came around.

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