Angela - posted on 01/24/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
I have been a foster parent for the last 5 years, and recently terminated my license when I was able to adopt the last two children in my care. Two of my children I have had since their birth but they were visting constantly with their biological mother until the oldest was 3 yrs. and the youngest was 2 yrs. As a foster parent, there is a natural "wall" up because of the emotional connectivity your risk by the possibility of them being reunited with their bio parents.
I am having a hard time being a real mom and not a babysitter to them. I feel like I missed out on that true mother/daughter bond because there was always the constant fear of them leaving and being reunited with their bio mom. My oldest daughter, now almost 5, is very difficult because she is highly sensitive and is always wanting to be right by my side and looking for reassurant from me. I know some of this is because of the instability she experienced as a child, but i don't know how to be there for her while encouraging her independance. Can anyone help me with ideas on how to connect with my children as a mother and not as a foster parent?