how to better communicate with partner

Sonia - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )




I really need guidance on how to deal with a domineering husband and open a more productive communication channel with him.
it seems like every time i open my mouth, my husband will find something objectionable and start ranting and raving at me and tell me how i instigate these arguments between us over insignificant things. for example, the other day, he was saying how we (mom-in-law and me) do not take care of things at home as he could not find the payment receipt of shoes he'd bought recently but now wanted to exchange. I apologized and told him that maybe he could have kept it in a more safer place so that he could find it easily. and he just burst on me and blamed me for saying what i did and started a full-fledged argument over how i instigate him into starting these fights. and even now i do not realize what i said that made him so over-react over nothing.
every time i have a differing opinion from his, he will react so over the top and then say that i make him do it.
i honestly do not know how to talk to him or have even a general conversation without making him go mad.
please help..tell me what to do...


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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/30/2013





Mediation, if he won't listen to your request for counseling. But quit putting up with his crap. Just in response to your example above, if the man is incapable of keeping track of receipts for things that HE purchases and may later want to exchange, he's a damn PUTZ!!!

Sounds to me like you're in a relationship with a domineering asshole, and he always has been. Who would actually scream at his own MOTHER??? A domineering asshole.

Best of luck. I think you need to consider your alternatives, though. A pampered 2 YO for a husband is not what you deserve.

Sonia - posted on 07/30/2013




thank you for your reply..and yes i am working and have my hands full with a 4 yr old daughter..we have tried talking calmly and i have even suggested going to a marriage counselor but without success..will try n work more on your suggestions

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2013




It might be good to have a third party involved. Talk with a pastor or counselor. Sometimes it is hard to express each others feelings the "right" way and sometimes when you are both in it it is hard to see the "real" problem. Talking with a counselor or a pastor can help the both of you be able to "hear" each other. I agree with Trish that it sounds like there is a deeper issue going on. Often times blow ups are just the reaction to what is going on deeper. Sit down and talk things through....listen to what each person is really saying. Not just the words that are coming out, but how are they feeling, why, what else is going on, what is behind the words.

Trish - posted on 07/30/2013




Get a life. I don't mean that in a horrible way, I mean positively. Do your work? Have you got hobbies? Do you have a social life? If not, get one. If you are over analysing things it's usually because there is not enough in your life to keep your mind busy. However, if you are a happy busy person, (and even if you aren't) what is his problem? Is it work, money, etc? Because one thing is for sure, he reactions are not the problem, just the symptom and he needs to open up and tell you why he is stressing so much. Sit down and chat (not argue). Where are you both now, where are you heading and what do you both want?

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