How to communicate to a wall ( Husband of 7yrs, relationship of 12yrs, raised my first born and fathered our 2.)..

Augusta - posted on 07/08/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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With in 12 years of our relationship, we've been married for 7yrs.my husband is 8 years older than me. With in the 12 years of our relationship,like any other couple we have had some good ups and some pretty bad downs. We struggled and still are struggling together more so financially. We both met and sort of built our relationship on drinking and partying escapades. With the partying and drinking came along arguments and fights and someone getting hurt physically and or mentally. It also came along with broken homes, families, and pockets. I brought myself to leave him with my 2kids at the time. I flew out of state; we got in contact by phone and he moved out of state to follow us in which we decided to fix things up and slow down on the drinking and partying. Few yrs later we decide to move back to our original home state to help our families and also to raise our own family back here. Mind you, within those years out of state and back the both of us were still drinking and partying. And many or most times it ended up ugly. All in all the drinking has never ended on his part. What is killing me more than anything is that he seems to be more concerned and involved when he is drinking, rather than when he isn't drinking, he seems to be always in a bad mood, tends to shut me out and turns to food for comfort. We can't even have an adult like convo without arguing and always pointing out the negative things in each other.
I must say our kids are damn good kids in school and out, BUT, Im afraid of what my husband and I are shaping their social lives into. The eldest to youngest, (this year), 14, 10, and 7 year olds. I have considered the hardest thing and suggested that he move back to his mom / brothers just to at least think things through about what is working and not working out between us. Some of my friends have suggested not to only because they tried that and eventually separated for good. I am just about at my wits ends with our marriage...please help with any positive advice, suggestions and or similar stories with positive outcomes!

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