How to connect with my 17-year-old son?

Peggy - posted on 09/02/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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His older sister, his only sibling, just left for college. He is home alone with his parents and his dog. He plays drums in a drumline and school band, and is an excellent student. I just don't know what activities to do with him --or if there are any. We seem to live parallel lives. He chats with me occasionally, and will sometimes play scrabble with me, but, other than that, I don't know how to find something interesting to do in order to spend some fun time with him. He doesn't like movies. Maybe the obvious answer is -- he has his own interests now and I should move on with my own? This last year I became so sad about the end of my childrens' childhood.

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Lillian - posted on 10/13/2014

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I have a new baby girl (1 month) and a 17 year old boy. I'm having a terrible time with letting go. For a long time it's been him and me against the world but now he's so busy all the time and I have a newborn on my hands. I miss him being little and always sticking with me. Nowadays just walking to Dunkin Donuts with himmakes my day 😔

Peggy - posted on 09/02/2013

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Thanks Barb. No, I don't view your answer as a put-down, but perhaps my question wasn't clear. He and I have our own activities and friends. We each have lots to do independent of one another. I work full-time too. I was looking for suggestions for things to do in the brief times we do spend with each other, short of just living in the same house together. I have asked him if there was anything he'd like to do, eg, during this past summer as he sat home and if I happened to be home. He doesn't have any suggestions. I do get your point. Perhaps just being there for him if he needs to talk, and attending his performances, and being home sometimes when he is, is all there is to do at this age.

Barb - posted on 09/02/2013

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They do eventually grow up. Let him decide what he wants to do with you for "fun". We're not talking about a 7 or 10 year old...but a 17 year old. It might help if you find another activity for yourself. Hope this doesn't sound like a putdown, but this is the way things happen. Kids grow up.

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