How to control my mother-in-law's spending on my baby

Joanne - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )





I've never really liked my mother in law - it's took me a while to finaly admit it out loud. The problem is - she's not a cow, horrible to me or anything, she infact loves me to bits, would do anything for me, but at the end of the day, she's just embarrasing / loud / weird!!!! on a plus side, she has produced a wonderful son, my lovely husband.

More problems have started since the birth of my baby in January 2011. She was born following our 4th IVF attempt so as you can imagine, the whole family was excited/pleased.

In short, my mother in law lives in a council house, is on benefits, is a pensioner and has never had any money to her name, never worked and has credict card debts. My Husband's father died 11 years ago and used to take care of all finances so now it's like my mother -in -law has been given the reigns to spend spend spend.

My family, are hard working, own our own homes, no credit cards, no finance etc, understand the value of money. My mom and dad helped us out when we had to pay privately for IVF (totalling £10k)!

I'm sick of arguing with my husband about her spending - for example - before our daughter was born, we said we didn't want any teddies (I just can't stand loads!!), granted, she has about 10, but knowing that we didn't want any, she went and brought 5 Stieff Teddies off the shopping channel totalling over £100.00 because "they'll be worth something one day", she buys from Danbury Mint - awful money boxes, jewellry boxes, both came to £80.00 that say "my grandaughter......" She's turned up at my house this morning with two dressess costing £50.00 they're nothing special and I just can't get my head around why she does this instead of paying off her debts. the bottom line I keep telling my husband is that when she's popped her clogs, I don't want her debts or funeral bills. whenever my hubby tries to say "have you got money put aside for your funeral" she just laughs and says "I'll die bonfire night and you can stick me on the bonfire ha ha!!!!!!!" I do feel she thinks she has to make up £10K for the money my mom and dad spent, but where was this money when we were saving really hard to pay for our baby!!!! I just can't stand her and am finding it more and more difficult to be civil to the woman - problem is - she just don't see my annoyance - if she was to say "have I done something to upset you?" I could go off on one, but it's like she knows she has, but won't ask. Even worse now, she's moving round the corner from me next week!! - It's really putting a strain on me and my hubby as his mom just don't listen to him. I find it really hard to be nice to/about the woman anymore!


Dove - posted on 10/22/2012




How tragic! You have a MIL that obviously loves her granddaughter and wants to buy her things. However will you survive?

As long as you and your husband are not supporting her, this woman's spending habits are none of your business and not your problem. If you don't want your house cluttered up with the stuff that she is buying your daughter, simply ask her to keep those things at grandma's house for when she comes to visit.

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