How to cope with a very naughty step child

Mpiloo - posted on 03/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My fiance has two boys from different mothers, I have 1 girl. we do not have a child together. We have been together for 4 years & are planning to get married next year. One of his boys is 5 & well behaved, the other one is 7 & can be very naughty, he usually visit during school holidays, he is not naughty as a normal kid would, this other day he stoned a neighbours water pipe & the yard was flooded. At school, we were told he tripped the teacher on purpose, there's a lot that he does. I just can not tolarate a constantly naughty child, his father does not seem to realise there's a problem, if I try to discipline him, he will have a long face & will not speak to me after a while he would cry so loud complaining about a headache, his father then gives him some pain killers, if i tell him that he's doing that to get some attention, he does'nt agree with me.



My fiance told me that he want the son to stay with us next year because her mother does not take care of him properly. My daughter will stay at home with my mother so I was hoping that the children can only visit us on holidays. I dont know how will I cope next year with the son staying with us full time.

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Krista - posted on 03/30/2012

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So his mother doesn't take care of him properly, and he only sees you during school holidays, and during that time, his father doesn't make even basic attempts to discipline him, and his father's fiancee is telling him what to do?



No wonder he's naughty. The kid has had no boundaries whatsoever.



You and your fiance need to work this out. BEFORE the wedding. Stuff like this has broken up many couples, because they couldn't agree, and wound up fighting all the time.



I would highly recommend that you drag your fiance into family counseling NOW, so that you can work out how to actually help that little boy control his energy and behave more appropriately.

Michelle - posted on 03/30/2012

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If you have him full time you may be able to curb some of this bad behavior with proper discipline, however it could that he has something wrong and perhaps a trip to the doctor is in order to discuss him being seen by a specialist. He may suffer from a disorder that can be treated and then you have a calm nice little boy. My son is diagnosed with both ADHD and ODD and on his meds he is no different then any other 11 year old.

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