How to deal after abortion...

Errin - posted on 09/21/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




So I am 22 and I have a daughter who's turning 3 in January. I love her more then anything anyways her dad and I broke up after 3 years of dating half way through my pregnancy. He didn't want a baby and I kept her obvy .. When she was 10 weeks old I met my new boyfriend he's amazing and has an 8 year old son. He's always been for my daughter and I. he has his son half the time .February 2014 I found out I pregnant we had been dating just under 2 years. We'll anyways we decided not to keep it because we don't live together , and he was scared his son wouldn't want to spend as much time with him of there was a new baby and a ton of other reasons... I got the abortion march 27 I was 12 weeks along and my due date would be oct 9. Well that's a few weeks away and because my little one was 3 weeks early due to high blood pressure and being induced I can't help but feel like I should have anther baby and I feel so guilty. I feel like I murdered my child and like the worst person ever ... Sometimes I feel like I don't even deserve to be here.. And I watch my daughter and my boyfriends son playing and I feel guilty for taking there Sibling away.. I have dreams about finding a dead baby wrapped in a towel under a Balcony covered in blood.. And I feel like my baby's daddy never wanted her and my new boyfriend never wanted my baby even tho he wanted his ex's son.. Like is there something wrong with me I.can't understand why know one wants my children... When I got the abortion my best friend took me cause my boyfriend was in Disney with his son .. It was an 8000 dollar trip and he has been paying for it for over a year before they went and his son was so excited I couldn't tell him not to take him but It makes me so angry to think that we'll I was going through something so awful he was having the time of his life sometimes it makes me feel like I don't want to be near him ... Also know l took the morning after pill and I shouldn't have got pregnant .. I was that one percent. How do I deal with these emotion


Dove - posted on 09/21/2014




The best thing you can do right now... is forgive yourself. No amount of regret or guilt or 'what ifs' can undo what has been done. Accept that it has happened and find the strength to move forward. I would also take a LONG hard look at the relationship you have w/ your boyfriend now and ask yourself if that's really the type of relationship you want for yourself... and the type of relationship you want your daughter to grow up knowing. Only you can answer that though.

I would like to advise you seek some counseling... both for letting go of the guilt and to sort your emotions about your relationship.

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