How to deal with a child who hates their mum

Margherita - posted on 07/08/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My 5 year old daughter and 7 year old son and I were playing together. My daughter all of a sudden gave me a wack over the head for no reason. I sent her to her room to calm down. I went into her room after 5 minutes and had a chat with her about why she did it. I also asked her why she doesn't behave like this with her father. She told me that she likes daddy more. She also said that I was stinky and I go to work and daddy doesn't (I work full time - Monday to Friday and my hubby works part time sometimes on the weekend, so he looks after the kids during the week). I asked her if she likes her grandparents more and she said that she likes them the same. At this stage my heart was broken and i told that her that she had hurt my feelings and then I walked off. I was really hurt by her comments and didn't speak to her for the rest of the afternoon. My son came up to me and gave me a hug and told me that he loves me. Is anyone in this same position or knows how to deal with this? I read on the Internet that this is provocative behaviour. Need some advice.


Denikka - posted on 07/08/2012




Most kids are going to tell their parents that they hate them or don't love them, especially at that age, and especially when they're angry at them.
Your daughter is probably feeling angry that you're gone so often and she doesn't know how to deal with it. So when she says *I hate you* or *I don't like you* or *I like daddy/grandparents more*, what she's really saying is *I'm angry at you*.
I know it may hurt your feelings, but ignoring her for a whole afternoon is not going to help in any way. A better suggestion is to set her aside for a few minutes and tell her that she hurt your feelings and you want to know WHY she feels that way. Talk to her. Be understanding. It is not okay for her to hit you, but it IS okay for her to be angry at you and for her to express that. And you should encourage her to express when she's angry at someone and teach her how to do it in a productive way.

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