how to deal with a child with adhd?

Emily - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My twin daughter has ADHD. She is a very energentic little girl. But, she also Intimidates others, manipulates others, and lies all the time, talks bad about me to her friends, treats me like i am ignorant. She has had symtoms since she was 5, and has been on medication for about 2yrs. now. I can't take her many places due to her attitude. She is a very good helper, but at times very lazy. I feel like i am lost when it comes too being her mother.

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Jeanine - posted on 05/27/2009

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My daughter is 8 yrs old and doesn't seem to be happy about anything. She can be the sweetest child, loving and helping. Sometimes she can be the meanist person to her good friends, pushing etc.and mean to her 3 yr old little brother. Earlier this year we found out she is Dyslexic, but not ADHD. I went to a day long seminar on Dyslexia. They said that most of the kids that are Dyslexic are ADHD. "If there is one disorder, then normally more follow." We had an academic test done(not covered by insurance) and a behavioral test done(this was covered by insurance) to determine if she is ADHD. I think she has some tendencies of ADHD, but not enough to be diagnosed with ADHD. It always seems like a daily struggle. This will always be. You have to remember to take your breaks. Refresh yourself. Positive reeinforcement. She is a great helper at times, glued to TV when we allow her to watch, gets bored easily and has trouble with wanting to read. She is very head strong and very manipulative-knows what to do to get what she wants. As frustrating as she can be to us-we wouldn't trade her for the world. I love her dearly. We recently reached out to a pyschologist to help her with her Anxiety disorder(this runs along with the Dyslexia). She is more likely to listen to the pyschologist than to listen to her mom or dad. Hang in there and contact your school board to find out what kind of help is available to you.

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Amanda - posted on 02/04/2014

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I am dealing with the same thing with my 7 yr old. I thought I was alone. Mornings are so bad I just don't know what to do any more. bed time is not much better. I am glad I found this page I know I am not alone now!

Janet - posted on 05/28/2009

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Quoting Dana:

My daughter of 5 also has ADHD. About a year ago I could not dissipline her as she rebelled agains everything. I could not take her anywhere. She threw constant tantrums and even hit me. I consulted a clinical psychologist - no help there. Then I came across a scio therapist. She has been with this scio therapist for a year now and she is a different child. No more tantrums no more behavioural problems. She now only has difficulty concentrating at pre-school. And she talks non stop. It's worth a try



hiya what is a scio therapist??? this is not soem thing i have heard of before and we would love to know mor??

Janet - posted on 05/28/2009

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hello, i too have a son with adhd, is partially deaf needing two hearing aides, he is 8 and a twin, i also think he is on the asd spectrum but at the moment the proffesionals say not!! another on going battle along side school! i have older children one of whom had adhd but was never medicated like james is. he is hard work but the hardest thing other than school is getting ppl to understand and stop judging him, like others on here are saying i cant take him places, so his twin bro misses out loads, james has learning difficutlies and also a heart mumor so he has it all bless him; it is great to hear other mums say how they feel and see it is not just me on my own, altho i know its not.

jan

Kristen - posted on 05/27/2009

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Thank you everyone for all the great advice. I think one of the major problems are that I work full time, usually until about 8 at night. It is really hard to make sure he is getting his homework done (when he remembers it). I don;t get to spend as much time with him as i think he needs. I am going to do what i can to fix that!

Kathy - posted on 05/27/2009

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don't give up on them, my daughter has adhd and since I guess 7th or 8th grade has been on medication. They do put you crazy at times, alot of crying and wondering why, what did I do to deserve this? A friend told me to remember that God creates all, and if he gives you a special child, that's because you are a special person yourself....just hold on and love them no matter what happens. You can win in the end. My daughter is 25 and a wonderful person.

She's just about my best friend....and she tells everyone my mom never gave up when most would have. I know it's hard, we did counseling and really grew together and I learned to understand her alot.

Emma - posted on 05/27/2009

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My 5 yr old was born with adhd we have now got her to "normal" by doing lots of different things from restriction diets to behavural guidance sessions for 6 months to distraction tecniques and a very strict routine it has taken a long time and alot of patience. She was only diagnoised at four because "children under 5 dont have adhd" is what i kept being told. rewards help alot and trying to ignore the bad behavior helps the most important thing i was told was "DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF" it really helps try trampoline when she cant seem to sit still or running around the backyard to work off the exta energy and hang in there. there are places that can help.

User - posted on 05/27/2009

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Everyone has good ideas. Routine is the best thing you can do, and dont give in to her. You need to be strong for her. I would also suggest getting some outside help. Your local county offices can help. I also wanted to give some web pages for you. www.ld-add.com and http://www.educationalmedia.com/Merchant...

[deleted account]

Hi, I'd look at other types of meds and talk to every person with simular situation. We found consistancy to be hugh. Go back and write down the family rules, correct lovingly, firmly and quickly - NO EMOTION - (Dr. Leman has great books "have a new kid by Friday") has helped me and my husband be more consistant. (We have five kids and three with ADD) Make the time to follow-through even if it means doing nothing else for a week or maybe to. I know its hard to shut down everything, but it's a good strategy - YOu need a plan and take small steps. Also, play with just her (even if you feel she doesn't deserve it) and focus on positives -- Pray.

Kristen - posted on 05/27/2009

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my 13 year old son has ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was seven. Before that he was being kicked out of class for being disruptive, and even suspended from school in the first grade. It has been a long journey with him. We have tried every medication known. It all works for a while then stops.We are currently using the Daytrona patches, but they too have stopped working. He is scheduled to go back to the Dr. next week, i hope they can handle him at school until then. When his medication doesn't work, he is very angry and aggressive. He has very little patience with his little sisters, when usually he is the best big brother they could ever ask for. He recently got kicked out of class for the first time in 5 years. It is a challeng. I feel so bad for him, because the older he gets, the more I see him struggle inside himself. He tries so hard to be good, but just can't seem to. He wants more than anything to please me. When he is in trouble allthe time it is so hard for me to make him understand that i am still very proud of him and how hard he tries. I get a lot of "He's old enough to take responsibility" from his school. It angers me that they don't understand what he goes through on a daily basis. He truely is a good kid with a beautiful heart, and I wish everyone else could see what I see in him. I think teachers and guidence counselors need to be educated on the struggles a child faces with ADHD.

Angie - posted on 05/26/2009

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I understand how you must be feeling. My nine year old son has ADHD as well. He lies, and purposefully aggrevates his sister. He very rarely listens to what we say. We tell him to turn the TV off, he turns it back on... ect.. He has problems doing chores and his sister is often angry that she ends up doing more, because she can do things right and doesn't break things. He is not loud, but can not sit still, always dreaming and into his own world. I live in Germany, so it is even harder to find a support group. Even though he has been diagnosed, my husband thinks he just has a disciplinary problem. I couldn't disagree more! :) I also have felt helpless and then I remember that he has a condition that he can't control very well. Just don't give up on your child or yourself as a mother. There isn't a rule book for parenting and you can only take one day at a time! If you have friends or family who could take her for a little while, you could do something for yourself! Go pamper yourself or go out with friends! I wish I could do that at the moment. We just moved here and my husbands family lives four hours away, so I hope to find a support group soon! Best of Luck!

Ruth - posted on 05/26/2009

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Quoting Dana:

My daughter of 5 also has ADHD. About a year ago I could not dissipline her as she rebelled agains everything. I could not take her anywhere. She threw constant tantrums and even hit me. I consulted a clinical psychologist - no help there. Then I came across a scio therapist. She has been with this scio therapist for a year now and she is a different child. No more tantrums no more behavioural problems. She now only has difficulty concentrating at pre-school. And she talks non stop. It's worth a try



What is a Scio therapist and what do they do?

Dana - posted on 05/26/2009

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My daughter of 5 also has ADHD. About a year ago I could not dissipline her as she rebelled agains everything. I could not take her anywhere. She threw constant tantrums and even hit me. I consulted a clinical psychologist - no help there. Then I came across a scio therapist. She has been with this scio therapist for a year now and she is a different child. No more tantrums no more behavioural problems. She now only has difficulty concentrating at pre-school. And she talks non stop. It's worth a try

[deleted account]

You are not alone in this. I have an ADHD child of 9 and he has the same issues. I notice that if I am firm and sometimes a drill sargeant he complies. I stick with a routine with him and just started offering him an incentive to work toward things like getting dressed, etc. I also remind him of the power of four for his respect. This is an in school respect matrix and it is respect for others, respect for learning, respect for self and respect for environment. It often works. You also have to remember kids are going to say bad things about their parents it is a natural thing. I have said things about my mom when I was her age. She is going through a phase and medications play a role with this as well. As long as she knows you are there for her and supportive. My child has aggression and I am taking a crisis intervention class for it. Hang in there she should eventually grow out of it.

Annette - posted on 05/26/2009

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My son was so wild he broke every thing and would hurt his younger brother if he didnt get his way. I found that when he was kept very busy it was easier for me to deal with him and at bed time we would take a camimile tea with some hunny in it and sit out side. and I'd let them play well i watched him. now for him army cadets helped alot maybe gymnastics or some thing could help u alot.

Ruth - posted on 05/26/2009

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God, you sound like me. I could've written that! My step-son has FAS and I'm at the end of my tether with him at the moment. Nothing that the 'experts' offer helps. Sometimes I just think this is the way he is and nothing will ever change it. Do you have the support of other family members? Sometimes having time away from the child helps you, because remember, you need looking after too x

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