how to deal with a drug head 26 yr old stepson still living at home

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Bobbi - posted on 11/13/2015

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my sister in an addict and my mom enables her, and because my mom always caught her before she could fall she has never known what rock bottom is. if theres no consequences hes not going to stop,your husband is worried that hes going to overdose but your husband IS the one thats slowly killing him everytime he gives him money or looks the other way or bails him out of trouble.ask your husband if he was a stranger would it be ok to behave like that...then why is it ok for his son to..he needs help and ignoring it isnt going to fix it

Sarah - posted on 11/12/2015

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There is nothing left to be done, but give the ultimatum of treatment or the streets. Once sober, he has to stay sober for a year before you will even consider letting him back in the home.. Sobriety is hard work and to live an environment, that is the same as when he was using, will not make it any easier. He need to distance himself from all of the triggers from when he was actively using. He may never be able to live near you again.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/12/2015

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Like I said, if DAD won't do anything, YOU need to leave

Dove - posted on 11/12/2015

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He'll likely be devastated, but YOU can not control the fact that your husband is an enabler. Perhaps the thought of losing his wife will be incentive enough for him to do what needs to be done... and if not, at least YOU won't have to be there to watch it happen and keep having your stuff stolen.

Raye - posted on 11/11/2015

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You and your husband have to talk about this and get on the same page. It's one thing to want to help your child if they are truly trying to help themselves and recover. But it doesn't sound like that's the case here. If the son won't clean up his act, then I agree with the others and he needs to get out. Enabling him only makes things worse. If your husband can't be made to see the light and still allows the boy to stay, then you know where his loyalties lie and you are probably better off without the lot of them.

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Raye - posted on 11/13/2015

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If the son has drugs in the house, you could always call the cops and have him arrested. Probably won't help your marriage, but it might get the son off the streets for a time, and if he's in jail he can't get into more trouble.

Rhonda - posted on 11/12/2015

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Well this is the thing, he is not my child. I have two sons, 28 and 30 years old that are living their lives and respects my husband. My husband's ex wife sent his son to him when he was 15 years old because she had remarried and had 2 children with him and he couldn't handle her son so gave her an option to either send her son to his dad or leave so she sent him to my husband. Since then, he has bought this kid about 4 trucks, which he either wrecked or by his 2nd DUI, he sold it and spent the money on his drugs. I keep telling my husband about "tough love" but he fears that if he kicks him out then his son will probably go live with druggie and overdose and die
I keep telling him that that can happen now, even with him leaving with us because he leaves at night with those people and either comes home the next day or many days later. How is he going to feel when he finds his son dead at our home because he didn't put his foot down?

Dove - posted on 11/11/2015

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If my husband would not kick him out... I would leave the home until he did.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 11/11/2015

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He wouldn't still be living at home, drugs or not, in my house.

Tough love. Kick him out. Dad has to back you up. If dad won't, then there's your sign. File for support and custody for any minor kids and separate from the druggies.

Sarah - posted on 11/11/2015

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Kick him out, change the locks and make sure your cars are in the garage and locked as well. Offer one time to drive him to rehab and store his stuff for him while he is there and compliant with treatment. It may seem cruel but by enabling him to keep using you are not helping him, you are making it worse. You have to let him fall, and if that means living on the streets or in a shelter then so be it. He has to want to get clean. You don't have to give him eviction time as he is breaking the law. Tell him to leave, or you will call the police and have him arrested. At least in jail you know he will be alive.

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