Jenna - posted on 10/22/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
My husband's ex is an extremely childish person. When my husband and I started dating they had already been broken up for about a year. Our relationship became extremely serious after a year, that's when she found out about me. My husband left her for a variety of reasons, she cheated on him, she couldn't accept the fact that he didn't want children. He had already given her one child but that wasn't enough for her, she wanted a huge expensive wedding, which he never wanted to get married, she wanted more kids, she has a spending problem which landed them in the broke house, they lost their house, cars everything. At that point he was still willing to stay for the baby's sake, but she said you either marry me and give me more kids or leave. He finally had enough and left. About 8 months later we met, we dated, we never told her cause he didn't want to bring a new person around his child until he was sure, so if I was wasn't going to be around their child it was none of her business what he did. She is very controlling, using the kid against him whenever she is mad. 2 years ago we found out we were expecting and that just set her off. She calls me names to her daughter, she tells her daughter she doesn't have to listen to me cause I am not her mother, she degrades me any chance she can. We have never even spoken. Can you believe this?! Your child is under my roof when she is not with you, and you refuse to even say " hi " ... This makes me back away from my step-child in a sense, cause no matter what I try to do, or say the mother has a problem with it. It makes it extremely difficult to bond with my husband child. This makes me sad.
The weird part of it all is, she got remarried, has a few kids with her new husband but still acts like a jealous ex-gf ! She hates me only for the fact that I have the life she wanted, he married me and had more kids with me, and he didn't want that with her. Or that's what it seems like anyways. My question is, how do I put the harsh feelings for this immature piece of crap aside so I can have somewhat of a relationship with my step-child ? I feel awkward around her, I don't know what to say. It's not a good feeling. No matter what I do or say to her, she goes back and tells her mother ( I personally think she's grilled, even down to the things like what I made for dinner each night ) , and my husband has to get the backlash of it. If I didn't make something their child likes to eat, he gets a phone call saying "why am I not feeding her food she will eat, do I want her to go hungry?"
How would all you other mom's handle a situation like this? How can I put my hatred for this woman aside when trying to spend time with her child? Cause in reality it's not the child's fault, and she is still a part of my husband so of course I love her