How To Deal With Absent Father Who Only sends Gifts to One of His Kids and Adoption

Melissa - posted on 08/30/2013 ( no moms have responded yet )

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I have 4 daughters and one son. The 4 girls are from a previous marriage and my son is with my husband now.

My ex had infidelity problems throughout our marriage. I tried to make it last, but just couldn't after he kept repeating (Marriage lasted for 10 years so I think it is fair to say I did my best). Our divorce was messy, his family didn't make it easy, but after a year and him realizing it was over, things began to settle down. Slowly he began to fade. His weekends became months, his months became 6 months and now there has been no contact for over a year, with exception of Amazon gift cards at Christmas and Birthdays.

He has been sending the cards for a year. They usually arrive 2 weeks to a month after the Birthdays/Christmas. The amount is usually 50 bucks, however that changed in April when one of my daughters received $75 and was showered with gifts from his family (I have not heard from his family at all since the divorce). I thought it would be a new trend and that he may be starting to come around and want to ease back into their lives. After that, no contact at all. My youngest daughter just had a birthday and received the usual $50 gift card and nothing from his family. She told me to send it back.

This triggered a chain reaction. Each of the girls, including the daughter that received the $75 card, has wanted my current husband (3 years) to adopt them. My oldest has already said that the day she turns 18 she is driving to the court house. He and I have a son and when asked he said that he had no problem adopting them. Honestly, I know he is already a better father and the girls love and respect him. I am leaning towards allowing it to happen...my ex just doesn't seem to care about them and the girls have grown numb and seemed to have moved on.

Sorry for the length, anybody went through a similar situation.

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