How to deal with annoying step-kids??

Cindy - posted on 02/23/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi, I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible, but I'm at my wits end. My fiance has a 12 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. The main one I have a problem with is the 7 year old boy. I'm a big kid lover, always have been, and feeling so hateful towards him makes me feel like an awful person! I've never raised a boy so I'm not sure what is normal, but he sneezes about every 20 minutes, about 3 in a row and blows thick snot onto his hands, it's so nasty. If nobody tells him to go wash his hands, he will wipe it on himself or the couch, etc...also, he poops and never flushes the toilet, and doesn't even wipe himself all the way! The other kids are always saying they smell him. He's pretty overweight also and always wanted food, constantly. I had to stop packing him lunch for school and giving him breakfast because he would go to school and have a 2nd breakfast and eat his lunch on the way to school and get a school lunch also. If he finds anything to eat he scarfs it down before anybody can take it away from him, and when he finds out what we are having for dinner he runs around going, "Yum, Whoo hoo, Taco's (for example), I'm going to eat them all." He's obsessed with food! Also, he's behind for his age. He's 7 and acts and talks like a 4 year old. He can't pronounce anything correctly and talks with mush-mouth. Plus he questions everything I do!! Why did you stop at that light? Are we going the right way to Nanny's? And he calls everybody else and everything else, "stupid." I try to remember that he has not had the best life until now. His mother hasn't been around, and he hasn't been taught a lot of things he should have been. His father baby's him and dresses and bathes him still, and when I bring up my frustration about some of the things he does, he gets annoyed and says, "Well he's only 7." Or he will say, "I know, but he's my baby..." Oh, and also he sucks his fingers every minute and then puts his hands everywhere. I think I would feel different if he acted sweeter about things, but just acts entitled all the time, and loud...and rowdy...I don't know what to do! Just looking at him annoys me! My daughter is not perfect, but she was raised better and is more respectful (she's 10) and will help out with anything around the house. When we ask either of his kids to do anything at all, they start throwing tantrums and yelling. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, but how can I help this situation or learn to deal with it better??? Any serious comments are welcome and appreciated!!!!

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Cindy - posted on 02/23/2014

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The schools around here serve breakfast for free to children. So when he gets to school, before he goes to class, he goes to get cereal and fruit or a biscuit, etc. He also has a school account that money is on, so when lunch time comes around, he can just go get a school lunch and charge it to that. He was taking a lunch from here, plus the school was calling saying he was negative in his account for lunch, and he admitted he would get lunches at school also. And we have plenty of discussions about what is right, what is wrong, about hygiene and how not wiping correctly can be smelly and even make you sick. He basically says ok, then goes back to doing the same things. It's like in one ear and out the other. And I live with them full-time. I've been here for 6 months. We've had the older girl in therapy since September, but nothing really seems to be working. I do think I will take the boy to the doctor though, and see what they recommend. Thank you!

Dipti - posted on 02/23/2014

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I too think you should take him to doctor..my daughter is going to be 7 and even she can't talk properly. .I take her for speech therapy. .and for other things may be he have never been seriously told not to do..I can understand your frustration when my daughter do such things then I get frustrated then they are your step kids..you just take him to doctor. .and look weather he could have worms in his stomach which could tend him to ear more. .

Jodi - posted on 02/23/2014

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Have you never thought to take him to a doctor for the sneezing issue? Have you had discussions about hygiene with him, and your expectations (eg, using a tissue)? Can I just clarify....you stopped feeding him breakfast and packing lunches? Seriously? How is he even getting a second breakfast at school if he isn't getting it from you?

And yes, 7 year old boys do tend to be a little less mature than girls. They can be rowdy and silly, thoughtless and forgetful.

Can I ask if they live with you full time?

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