Fia - posted on 10/17/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )
Feeling a bit depressed with the choices life has faced me with, i have Two adorable children who are MY WORLd. My son will be 2yrs old on the 26th & my daughter just made 4 in August, they have different fathers who unfortunately BOTH aren't in their lives. I support them mentally, physically and emotional providing a standard lifestyle, i work hard and am surrounded by supportive family.
My kids are the BEST i wish i could give them the World if God Let me, for me theres a flip side to my story.Single Parenting I admit is ROUGH i Often Cry in bed alone because keeping a Smile on my face when my kids go to bed & wake up as if EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE hurts me the MOSt.. I've never understood why my childrens Fathers weren't MAN enough to be in their lives?? Why do i feel as if i FAILED??? i mean, I'm still around for MY children, INVOLVED with EVERYTHING & ANYTHING they DO. I had No Support/Help other than my own family, Typical "Single Mother Syndrome" i like to call it consisting of Late Night Crys, Baby Botlles Made in the Middle of The Night, and for sure #TeamNo sleep.
Although it is tough, it is My Life & my kids need me. Times were as hard as being unemployed, no food, no diapers and late bills but God always seen me through. TYJ!! I sit back an Envy those Mothers who have their childs fathers being FATHERS, a second income but in all a second hand & of course I Wish I had that!
I can't Teach my kids to know me in the place of a Father Figure because i Am ONLY what God Created me to be a WOMAN, A DAUGHTER, A SISTER, A MOTHER!!
Seeing my childrens First Steps, First Words, First Giggle ALONE hurts my Soul. Failure as a Parent Never cut so deep, Sure i go on with my Life and just do what i do BEST but in the back of brushing it under the rug i feel i can never let go.. Maybe its Anger? Resentment?? Mabe Guilt!
My son is the GREATESS at everything he does, he has that Natural ability to pick up a basketball, baseball bat, soccerball, YOu name it he's Gifted! He's in to cars, sports, fishing and everything else a young boy would take intrest to, No encouragement needed! He's my little sweetheart thats never stopped smiling since the day he was born, My happy baby!
My daughter is such a princess shes my parents heart, in their eyes she can do No wrong. Shes very outgoing, a little much of a diva with a tad bit sassyness to her walk. At such a young age she has such a strong soul shes my right-hand little lady of mine.
"MOMMY LOVES YOU YANAH & TAY, FOREVER & ALWAYS"
Loving my children more than Life itself is the Only thing that will Never change in my Life... Praying i find some Peace within myself, God Bless!