How to deal with my 10 year olds attitude?

Theresa - posted on 01/15/2016 ( 1 mom has responded )




My oldest daughter has an attitude like no other kid I have ever known. She gets me so mad sometimes, then I remember my little girl that she used to be and it makes me sad. I know she is going through hormonal changes but it is so hard for me cause it is my oldest daughter and raising a 10 year old is so very new to me. I try to remember the way I used to be when I was her age but things are so very different these days. I get after her so much more than my other 2 daughters.This is the last place where I would come to get advice but maybe some one can give it to me. I know every kid wants their alone time with mommy but it is such a bad situation that I am in with my little girls. Their father passed away 5 and a half years ago so I am the mother and father in their lives. I am the only one they come to for everything. I cant give any one of them alone time with me because it wouldnt be fair. Has anyone dealt with this kindof situation and how did you handle it?? I would be grateful for any helpful information.


Dove - posted on 01/15/2016




10 is pretty rough... especially on girls (not sure on boy's as mine isn't quite 8 yet). One on one time is SO important... and it's very possible no matter the circumstances.

My twin girls are 14 and significant one on one time has been very rare and random, but 'one on one' time happens typically every day. All it takes is a few minutes just to check in w/ each other.

As for it not being fair... life isn't fair. It's not fair that they lost their father and it's not fair that you are doing this alone... but that's reality. The fact is that it is OK to not be 'fair' all the time. Sometimes one child is going to need more from you than another. It changes quite often based on ages and circumstances.

I'm assuming your youngest is 5 or older? That's plenty old enough to play quietly or watch a movie while you and your oldest get in some 'girl talk'. They can each get a turn at one time or another as well.

I'm not sure exactly what problems you are having w/ her, but I DO remember the hormones (still going on cuz it NEVER so I'm sure some of it is attitude. She may need a lot of 'chill out' time alone in her room to read or draw or listen to music or whatever else helps her calm down... and that's OK too.

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