How to deal with your in-laws that haven't been the best to your family

ARJ - posted on 12/02/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




How do you deal with a Father-in-law that has done horrible things to your family. Such as stealing from grandchild, sending a horrible postcard through mail with things said about your child and yourself, and stealing his own son's identity. To bet it all, my mother-in-law just wants to act like never happened. And then your husband wants is now at a point that he is ready to forget that all happened and have something to do with them and be a family again. I need advise on what to do cause I have been enraged over all of this for some time now, and have distanced myself and my kids from them but now my husband is ready to be around them again. So what type advise does anyone have for me on how to deal with this and act like everything should be back to normal.


[deleted account]

If your husband wants to be a part of his parents' family, you shouldn't try to stop him. Forgive and move on with the relationship, which really is what anyone should do as it is not healthy or helpful for anyone to hold onto a grudge.

Some pointers for interaction with the members of the family who've wronged you:

1. Keep conversation limited to small talk--never bring up religion or politics, and most importantly, NEVER bring up the past. If conversation starts to veer off into those directions, discretely change the subject as soon as possible.

2. Limit YOUR visits and interactions with them to family or group functions and public places--try not to visit or let them visit you unless your husband is with you.

3. Do not tell the children about anything "bad" these people have done in the past. Let your children form their own opinions and relationships based on their own interactions.

4. Don't bad mouth the inlaws to your husband--remember, they are his mommy and daddy, and he obviously loves them very much.

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