How to explain that mom won't be around?

Austin - posted on 09/23/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




First of all, yes I am a single father. It's difficult to find sites that I can get good information from about my baby girl though from places where both genders of parents are allowed. So instead of poking around, I just joined circleofmoms to make it easy. Besides, woman know best, right?

My daughter just turned 6, but has always been adamant about her mother. "Where's mommy?" "Did mommy leave because of me?" "All my other friends have mommys... I want one too!" are the comments / questions I hear at least once a day from her. I try my best but no answer I give seems to please her (which is shocking to me - friends as well as her school comments on how mature she is, I thought maybe it would be easy for her to understand?). I know she is around males more than females (been trying to work this out more too), so I understand her crave for a female role around. But I'm thinking it's something deeper than this. Any tips? It's becoming frustrating for both of us and I hate my little girl crying all of the time, wanting something I know she can't get back.


Guest - posted on 09/23/2014




Where is her mom?

I don't have a mom. I have an adoptive father, and he's great. That said, a mom would've been cool.....nothing like three men trying to explain why I'm bleeding down there.....

Anyway, when I was a kid, sometimes it made me happy to think my bio mom was dead and was looking down on me from heaven or something. (she wasn't....darn.)
I also found some pretty good female role models in my teachers.....sure, they were bookish, but they were girls at one point.

I was "smart" too--totally all gifted programs and AP classes until I bailed out of college, but I NEVER understood why I didn't have a mom. I'm a "successful" adult now (depending on how you define success) and I still don't understand why I don't have a mom, but I love my dad, and I know that he's 'enough'.
And by "enough" I don't mean, "JUST enough" I mean "ENOUGH" as in, he's enough, he's all I ever need and as long as I have him, I have enough--I have everything I'll ever need. He's enough. I love him, and when he leaves, I know it won't be by choice. Teach your daughter that--that you are enough even when you feel like you aren't. I know my dad didn't always know he was enough. He thought I needed a mom, and so did I, but somehow along the way we both learned that we were both enough for each other......I wish I could tell you how that happened...but I don't know.

I did eventually get a mom. I was 19 when my dad met her. She's cool, and I love her, but I don't NEED her.

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