How to explain that taking off without permission is not ok?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I have a 6 year old girl who twice in the last 2 weeks thinks that it is ok that she can leave without telling me where she is going. 2 weeks ago when she did this I found her at a friends house, that I don't know very well. When we home I sat her down and explained to her that I was scared and very worried and explained to her that there are people that can take her from me. She was punished appropriately for this but today after we arrived home she asked if she could run next door and see if another friend could play. I said yes but run right back, we live in an apartment complex. After about 3 minutes she did not arrive home and I checked the friend where she was going and she was not there. The young boy across the street said she had gone down to the park a block from our home. I frantically ran down there and found her happy as can be and not a care in the world. I don't know what to do to make her understand that she cannot just leave without telling me. It really worries me as I know there are people that would not give a second thought about hurting my little girl. Please if anyone has any advice on what to do please let me know.

I should clarify that I live in a smaller town but I am not stupid enough to believe that we are exempt from horrific crimes. Yes I ran inside to put the milk away and then went to look for her, maybe not the best idea but I am just wondering how to convey to my daughter that this is not right and if any other parents have had these issues and how they have dealt with them.


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Bonnie - posted on 04/03/2012




Have you thought about putting a latch type lock closer to the top of the door? This way she cannot unlock the door to get out.

[deleted account]

Thank you!! I didn't notice that. Yes I understand that she shouldn't be outside but our apartments are more like duplex's I guess. All windows and doors have immediate outside access. I ran in the door to put the milk in the fridge and then right back outside and she had already taken off that fast. I think she does well with picking up other social cues, the biggest problem is that one of the kids she plays with is older and is allowed to go where she pleases. I have already stopped any outside activity with her if I cannot be out there. I was freaking out on my way to the park praying that she was there. I lost it immediately when I found her last time and I thought she seemed to understand what I was talking about. We talk a lot about stranger danger but yes she seems oblivious to it.

Random - posted on 04/02/2012




Might want to fix your post. You just said you are stupid

As for the rest, I agree with Medic Mommy. She shouldn't be outside in an apartment complex unsupervised. She seems to be oblivious to danger. Does she pick up on social cues well? I'm wondering if there might be something else going on with her.

Medic - posted on 04/02/2012




At 6 she should never be outside without you out there with her. Especially in an apartment complex. Put a bell on the door or one of those buzzer things so when she opens it you know.

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