Alysha - posted on 02/15/2016 ( no moms have responded yet )
My fiance is considering taking a job that would cause him to travel every week M-Th. The pay is amazing which is why he is considering it, but it would cause us to have to move 2-4 hours away from our friends and family.
I grew up in a household where my dad would literally only be home a week each month and I personally saw the effect it had on their relationship, they are divorced now. Not only that I witnessed the stress my mom went through having to work full time and care for 3 children. Similar my mom also had no family support for the closest relative was 5 hours away. Sometimes I feel like my mom resented my dad for it, and when he was home he didn't know how to be a parent. It's one of the reasons today I am closer to my mom verse my dad. The only plus my mom had we were all in grade school, by the time my dad started traveling.
I don't want the life my mom had, where I don't have time for myself and am stuck raising children alone. I love to run, and run outside (literally I'll run in freezing weather to avoid a treadmill). I don't want a marriage my parents have were they become resentful of one another. I also don't want out future children to have the relationship I have with my dad. Luckily for me the only reason I have one with my dad at all is because I was 9 by the time my dad started traveling a lot, but my little brother who was 6 virtually has no relationship with him at all.
I guess my question is, how do I find time in a new city with no support to have me time. Just an hour to two 4-6 times a week, just so I can go out an run?
How can I manage a household of toddlers and babies while working full time? How do I do this and not become resentful of my spouse who gets to travel and have his freedom pass 6 at night?
Finally how can you keep a marriage together? I'm use to him traveling every other week now M-F, but we don't have kids now so it's easy. I don't want to tell him to not take a job, but I have legitimate concerns that involve it. With this concern and stress of planning of wedding it's giving me cold feet, even though I know I want to marry him.