how to get friends and family to accept me breast feeding past 12 months

Melissa - posted on 06/13/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Im having alot of trouble with this, how can I make them understand and accept my choice? All I can say to them is I have done my research and Im choosing tobreast feed longer (baby is nearly 11 months). She eats ALOT of food in a day so its not harming her food in take which is what I point out to them she eats more in one meal then my 3 yr old eats in a day, plus she has snacks. Ive just done some more research to support me but when I suggest to people that it is reccomended to breast feed for 2 yrs they say that is just crazy my kids were not breast fed longer then 12 months etc. My mum is the main difficulty atm I keep declinging things because I breast feed and she keeps asking me to leave the baby with my husband for the day and give her cows milk I would prefer not to, and can only imagine the reaction I wil get when people find out I am cancelling my nov trip to bali because Im feeding...any ideas how to tell people and my mum that I dont plan to take out those breast feeds when she turns 1

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Jenn - posted on 06/14/2011

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I encountered more criticism from my mother than anyone else when I breastfed both of my children until one was 20 months and the other was 26 months. But then, she only breastfed me for three weeks, for whatever reason. Therfore, she couldn't possibly relate to me on the subject of breastfeeding. I stood firm in telling her stats, facts and pointing out that my babies were thriving physically, emotionally and healthy. Years later, she understands a little better but still says she couldn't and wouldn't have nursed her kids as long as I did with mine. Stay firm. Your baby, your body, your responsibility and choice!!

Lissa - posted on 06/14/2011

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To be honest I would say I am the parent not you, you can or did do what you choose for your baby, I choose for mine. You may not like it but it's nothing to do with you and if you can't top yourself from commenting you aren't welcome here.
Maybe that sounds harsh, to be honest that was my really polite version :)

Merry - posted on 06/14/2011

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Mel, I was too much of a softy to just say, 'none of your business' so here's what I did.

A few facts I gave them-

World health organization says two years minimum

American academy of family physicians says weaning before two puts the child at increased risk of illness

Aap says there is no evidence of emotional or psychological harm in breastfeeding into the third year or beyond

(I'm sure australia has a few good quotes you can add in)

Then of course there's the whole 'we never did that, our drs never said that' etc

Mention how thirty years or so back kids never rode in car seats, should you go by the old recommendations? Or the new ones?

Thirty years or so ago moms were told not to gain more then 15 lbs for pregnancy, is that still the best choice?

A while back the drs even said x rays were harmless in pregnancy and tons of babies died or were damaged by x rays in utero!

Point being, medicine is a practice, it's always changing and improving and getting better, so, even if their dr didn't say it's ok, doesn't mean it isn't!

So some will bring up the whole recommendation about weaning from the bottle by one year, let them know that the reason the bottle is said to be done at a year is because bottles are fake nipples and they can cause teeth to be badly developed, they promote cavities, and they can cause poor jaw development.

Breasts on the other hand improve jaw strength, improve teeth shape and structure, and prevent cavities!

So they might say she will be too dependent on you, too attached. This is where some humor helped me, I said, what do you think too attached is? I mean he still needs me to change his diaper, wipe his butt, make him food, change his clothes, he sleeps in a crib, rides in a car seat, etc etc!

Why does he have to be all grown up in one area?

Annabutton - posted on 06/14/2011

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OY!!! Amazing to me this is a subject. Breastfeeding is a wonderful part of motherhood, don't let anyone ruin it for you. First off I'd like to say congratulations on breastfeeding. Second, whoever has a problem with what you are doing needs to be told to mind their own business. This is your child and it is up to you how things go. Don't let them get to you. Either don't talk to them about this subject or if they bring it up tell them it isn't up for discussion.

User - posted on 06/13/2011

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im having the same issue atm too. my daughter is just coming up to a year and SHE is not ready to wean.
Friends have told me thats its only socially exceptable until a year old.
I dont know what the answer for you is, i have come from a non breast feeding family and for me doing it at all ive been critisised... but at the end of the day you are doing whats best for your child and that has nothing to do with anyone else.

JuLeah - posted on 06/13/2011

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Not sure why they have a voice or vote in this. Tell em to mind their own.

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