how to get over getting an abortion

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

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i found out I was pregant last December, I told my ex boyfriend and he told me that we could not afford to raise the baby. So he took me to a place to get an abortion, i did not want to go thru with it and he said I had no choice, he was thee only one to make the choice of what to do. Ever since I got it done I cry every night thinking I would have had a baby to take care of. Should I blame my ex for making me go thru it after i told him no

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Rhonda - posted on 04/11/2011

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Some good counseling will help you get through. I am sad to hear about this and I want to encourage you. I have six children and to say that one can not afford a child is rediculous since if we would wait until we could afford them we probably never would have children. Children are a blessing no matter what age.

[deleted account]

I think talking to a professional will help you Tiffany.I am sorry you feel the way you do.Many woman don't realise the impact the will feel from there action until its to late.I really feel for you.I hope you find some healing.Some peace with the choice you made.

Firebird - posted on 04/10/2011

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You can't blame your ex, you're a grown woman and are capable of making your own choices. If you truly wanted to keep that baby, he would not have been able to make you get an abortion.

Andrea - posted on 04/10/2011

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If I was in a relationship with someone like that I'd make damn sure I didn't get pregnant and I'd leave the jerk.
You made the decision, not him...it's your body.
He already has 4 kids and you didn't think to double up your birth control methods?

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2011

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I do wish i did not tell him until after having the baby. He has got 4 kids from perivous relationships and he does not see them..

Jenni - posted on 04/10/2011

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If I had become pregnant by my ex (the one who was controlling) I would have considered abortion myself. Or not telling him I was pregnant. I wouldn't want any ties to him whatsoever. I would never be happy with him involved in my life and my child's life. I know, maybe it's selfish. But I personally could not handle it and would not feel safe allowing my child to be around him. I'm sorry. I really am. It's scary for me to think how easily I could have been in your situation.

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2011

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We broke up way before i found out i was pregant.. He has 4 kids from other relationships

Jenni - posted on 04/10/2011

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Well, really hun. You are a grown woman and had a choice in the matter. I've been in a somewhat controlling relationship and although my ex was a huge jerk. I can't blame him for any decisions I made while with him. It was my choice to stay with him and put up with the crap. You have to understand that NO ONE controls you. You are the only one who has the control and although others may influence you, short of holding a gun to your head, you are the decision maker.



I know it's hard. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I know how manipulating these assholes can be. But it's in the past now and all you can do is move forward and forgive yourself. There's no point in blaming anyone. Don't waste time on it, you will never be able to heal if you don't forgive. Don't be afraid to seek councilling if you feel it's necessary. And learn to love yourself more so you don't wind up in a situation like this again.

[deleted account]

I don't think that blaming your ex will help you get past it any easier, but I'm so sorry you went through that and I'm glad to hear he's your ex now. :(

I wish I knew what else to say to ease your pain.

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