How to get over guilt of my toddler's injury?!

Megan - posted on 10/10/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am struggling today. Yesterday, my almost two year old son was running through the house, fell and hit his head on the edge of the fireplace hearth. He didn't lose consciousness or suffer any concussion side effects, but it caused a huge gash above his eye brow.

It was literally the most terrifying moment of my life. We rushed him to the Children's Hospital and he received 12 stitches for the wound. He did great at the hospital and didn't cry or struggle at all. He has been a great mood since. I don't think he even knows that he has an injury.

But while we have outlet covers, cabinet hooks and other safety items, I never installed bumpers around the fire place. My older daughter was so safe at that age, and I just never imagined something like this happening. I am sick to my stomach with myself that he will likely have a scar for life because of my lapse in judgement. It is my job to protect him and keep him safe, and I am feeling completely responsible for his injury.

I can't stop crying about it today and am very disappointed in myself. Has anyone else gone through something similar to this, and, if so, how did you cope with the feelings of guilt? Any thoughts appreciated.

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Dove - posted on 10/10/2016

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Kids get hurt. Even if you childproof everything and supervise every second (which isn't physically possible).. accidents can happen and kids are very good at finding trouble for themselves. I know it's a hard thing, but you just have to be kind to yourself about it. Since it only happened yesterday it's still very fresh, so you struggling w/ it is perfectly normal.

The only incident so far of any of my kids needing stitches was something I caused (complete accident)... so yeah... letting go of the guilt takes time, but your son is fine and you are not ever going to be perfect. ♥

Dove - posted on 10/10/2016

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Aw... yeah, don't feel guilty. A baby falling off the bed happens to most parents/grandparents at least once. ♥

Carol - posted on 10/10/2016

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My middle daughter when she was 5 was running up and down playing in the barn on tether I used on her child harness as I always did while I was cleaning out the stables my younger one was asleep in her buggy so I was working away and I realised it was quiet I looked over the door and no daughter.
I ran outside and was just In time see her run into the side of the post lady's van running after her ball.
I caught up and she was laid out cold as she run and hit her head striaght onto the door
The post lady was in shock and I'm trying to stay focused I do t want pick her up as a head injury and loads blood ,I've no phone in my pocket as it's in the barn on the wall,the post lady hysterical and of no help to any us.
In the end I had take the chance and fun to the barn and get my phone on returning she's coming back around so I. On the phone for the ambulance.
Well we get her in ambulance and I've got my youngest with me now and on way hospital,half way my daughter says what happened mum I want my ball..they had stopped the bleeding to her head but she was white literally and I'm just seeing the acccident over and over again
Well unbelievably at hospital she's scanned and x ray and all fine just a lot stitches.
Later we go home and all she worrys about all the time is her ball.
Well I get back and I just can't understand how she could get off the tether as never before so I ask her how she run after her ball,so she showed me and says here mum if oresss here it open mum ,I ask has she done before she said yes mum when I've lost my ball before the last time .oh god I'm thinking that time she took off the tether got her ball back, and even put the tether back.
So next morning as soon all, up and out before the morning chores in the barn I'm off to the store she had new harness that has like a double locking system that even now she can't open lol and she's 17 now as I gave her to see it she could undo as I'm typing this now.and I took no chances any kind normal Clip to her harness and the tether run I used padlock so no matter how people may think her safety was far more important then than what people's opinions may be from using it.
I still see the scar she has every day my life and I know it was my fault,that night and lots more I felt so sad I'd not protected her totally and I have cried a number of times too as her scar is instant memory of it.

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Krissy - posted on 10/10/2016

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Oh lord, honey how could you feel guilty, it was an accident, you can't keep your kids wrapped in cotton wool, these things happen. My son was 7 months old ADHD and running like usain bolt haha he tripped one day and smashed his head on the corner of the coffee table, split his forehead open and was taken to hospital all bloody and bruised, you wouldn't have thought anything was wrong with him, he was laughing and running wild at the hospital, the nurse stitched him up and we went home where he continued to cruise around like it was nothing. The scarring goes away over time, by the time he's a teen the scar will be so light you'd hardly notice and it'll be a good story for him to tell his friends about. Stop stressing, you're not a bad mother, this wasn't your fault and stop with the bubble wrapping, you have to teach your kids the dangers not just baby proof everything and not teach, its better you teach your children that way when they're older they can go and play and know what dangers there are like stairs and climbing trees and trampolines. The only safety things I had in my house were the clips to stop my kids from opening cupboards and draws, that was for my sanity and of course they're protection to an extent, keep meds and other dangers up high but most importantly teach from a very young age. You'll still have accidents but if your kids can get over it and live with it so can you.

Shirley - posted on 10/10/2016

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I know now I don't leave him on the bed I make sure I put him in his crib now so that way I can alleviate that happening again it's just that everytime I think about it or see my daughter I feel so guilty and thank you for responding back

Carol - posted on 10/10/2016

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It does get better Megan but you don't forget you will be so much more careful in future though

Dove - posted on 10/10/2016

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Shirley... I hope you stop leaving him unattended on a high surface. The first time can be called an accident. Making excuses and letting the exact same thing happen again would be neglect.

Shirley - posted on 10/10/2016

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My seven-month-old grandbaby fell off the bed the other day when I went to turn the shower on and I told my daughter about it and she screamed and yelled and said how could I be such an awful grandparent and I feel so guilty he didn't get hurt when my daughter says you're taking him to the emergency room because he may have internal bleeding I didn't ever think about wildest dreams about taking him in for internal bleeding because I didn't see anything that was wrong with him and she said I should have taken him and to get him checked out so I said maybe I need to stop putting pillows up and I said eventually he'll not the pillows out of the way and try to get off the bed too I just don't want him to get hurt him break his arms or legs

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