how to get respect and potty train?

Kristin - posted on 02/05/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




two issues..... my daughter at age four tells me she hates her father and she's never seen him due to he is in prison. my sons father is the only guy who has ever been in her life. she disrespects him and he has to get very sturm with her to do anything. I now fight with her to get her todo anything. What can I do to get her to behave? my second issue is potty training my son. no matter how many time I take him to the bathroom he won't poop in the pot. He will pee in it though. what advice do mothers have please help?


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Ariana - posted on 02/05/2013




For your son you just have to let him figure out how to do it on his own. Some kids take longer than others to figure things out. If he doesn't want to poop in there don't make him, eventually he will figure it out.

Also are there any older boys who he likes/admires? Not an adult but an 'older' child who could maybe take him into the bathroom? Even if you don't want to do that having him hang out with an older boy who's potty trained you can say, 'so and so is a big boy, he goes poo on the potty, you're going to be able to do that soon too!'. Don't be negative like, he can doit why can't you? Or you aren't a big boy if you don't do this, just try to show him other 'big kids' poo there and he's going to learn to do it to.

For your daughter you might need to try and talk to her about her biofather and explain the situation or why he's not around etc. She may feel upset about it and needs to be explained that it's not her fault her biodad is in jail (did he ever see her before going to jail or anything? Is that why he can't see her?) Try to explain it to her as best you can.

What are you doing with her so far? You could give time-outs, or send her to her room if she's doing something she shouldn't. It really depends on what she's doing. So if she is refusing to clean up her toys you can tell her she has 15 minutes to clean up (or however long depending on if it takes a while) and anything left on the floor will be taken away until further notice, or until she earns the toys back through cleaning up. That would only work if they were HER toys etc but that's an example of doing something without having to sit there trying to force her to do it. Every situation you can come up with a plan of action of what to do. Sometimes trying to get kids to do things in the moment is what can be so frustrating, and they also don't know how you'll react. Sometimes you might get firm or yell at them, and for other situations you'll let it go or put in a consequence. If you have a set plan that shows her, if you do this this will happen, it can help her learn the rules.

Oh and try to compromise when you can. My son is very strong willed, and for example, he refused to take his boots off or put them away and I told him not to come up the stairs (like 3 stairs into the living area) until he put it away. He yelled and screamed for like 5 minutes and I went over and I said c'mon just put them away, and he said will you watch me?? So I watched him do it,, now every time he doesn't feel like putting his boots away I say I'll watch you ok? And usually he's fine. So sometimes if you try to compromise it will help. Like for cleaning up maybe she can leave some special toys she wants to play with out any situation that can be compromised somehow is great. Obviously that doesn't work with everything but it can be helpful.

If you can put up what you're doing with her already and the main situations that you're having trouble with her. The other thing is to try to remain calm when you deal with her. I'm sure she's being really frustrating but allowing your buttons to be pushed only makes the situation worse and gives her more control which probably makes her act out more.

I hope some of this helps!

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