how to get through to my teenage daughter without harping

Melanie - posted on 05/09/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my daughter is very bright but refuses to listen to anything I say.

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Jodi - posted on 05/10/2012

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Melanie, one more question.....is it possible that SHE didn't want to move schools? Her friends are at her old school and she may be having difficulties socially at the new one? If she is experiencing difficulties socially, it will manifest in all areas of her life.

Kelina - posted on 05/10/2012

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of course you do and so does she! It sounds though like your ideas of what is best for her and her ideas of what is best for her are coming from two alternate universes lol. Have you tried sitting her down and asking her what she wants? where does she want to go in life, what does she want to do. Does she want to do anything after school, go to university, go travelling, etc? Is there a way for you to make that happen if she can keep her grades up? let her know she can tell you anything without you freaking out and when she tells you stuff you don't want to hear, try not to go into lecture mode. I know it's hard. my mom attempted to sit down and have this talk with me when I was about 15. I tried to tell her all I really wanted was to get married and have kids and I swear I damn near gave her a heart attack before she started in on the lecture. Same thing happened when she tried to be nice about birth control a year later. It's hard work to walk that fine line between letting them have a little freedom and control and still being a parent. Good luck!

Melanie - posted on 05/10/2012

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The list goes on and on. I am very concerned with her poor work ethic at school. I have resigned that she will not keep a clean room but we pulled her from public school and put her in a small private school that challenges the kids but keeps them safe (bullying, mean kids, etc). This school has opportunites for the students that public school didin't offer. She gets to shadow a pediatrician for school credit. She is very bright and school has always been easy so the work level is appropriate and we are not asking her to do two years in one, just keep up. That is not happening. And during all this, she is mean and hateful towards me about everything. I know 14-16 is rough but I only want the best for her.

Jodi - posted on 05/09/2012

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Didn't you know that teenagers know everything?

Seriously though, what is it that she isn't listening to? You have to pick your battles, and sometimes (depending on what it is) let them learn their lessons the hard way. More information would be good :)

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