[deleted account] ( no moms have responded yet )
I have a quasi sister/mother relationship with my sister who is 10 years younger than me.
When my sis graduated high school last year she moved from my Dad's to my house in the city to attend post secondary. The deal was that she always had to be in school or working FT (and saving) when living with me, and would pay 2 of the household bills (about $200-250 a month).
This has not been going well. Between dropping out and quitting jobs she has done nothing for 7 of the 13 months she has lived with me. She again is unemployed (quit her job in mid August), not looking too hard and not back in school for September or January. She plays a lot of video games etc.
I like my sister and love her a lot but I feel like I may not be doing her any favours and may be enabling negative behaviours. I was on my own since 17 and it was really hard but I think it was good for me in some ways. I also have a fiancé with a 2.5 year old at home and having my sister always at the house causes some stress. She only leaves the house maybe 10 hours a week. She does not do very much in the realm of housework/ chores unless asked and her room is almost always a mess. She is usually pleasant but sometimes very sensitive so you have to walk on eggshells a bit.
At the same time, I don't really know where else she could go (both my parents are kind of homeless at the moment. My dad is actually currently with us for a few months - talk about a full house - but will have a place again by November) and she is unemployed with no savings. Also, I feel like I need to cut her some slack because of lingering emotional issues from her childhood (abandonment issues from our junkie Mom and she was also abused by a cousin for years, and she just came out about that last year - but she hasn't been to therapy in months). She pays those 2 bills as agreed.
I am very conflicted! Should I kick her out? Let her stay? If I let her stay with conditions, what conditions are fair and how can I enforce consequences? I would greatly appreciate any thoughts!