How to handle gifts from your Ex's new gilfriend

Anne - posted on 07/14/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi, My children just meet my Ex's new girlfriend for the first time. The children met her on a weeks vacation with my Ex. Upon returning home each child had a container of gifts from the new girlfriend. (prior to meeting the children she has sent gifts via my Ex) The gifts were thoughtful and the children enjoy them. However, there were many gifts. (enough they each needed a container) What is the best way to let my ex know his girlfriend does not need to continue giving the children gifts? I understand his girlfriend was excited to meet the children and has kind intentions. As their mother, I find the amount of gifts to be too much and do not want this to become a the norm.


Chet - posted on 07/14/2014




One time is not a pattern of behaviour. I would wait for it to happen at least two (or maybe even three) times before I said something about it.

Since the gifts were very thoughtful and the children enjoyed them the only issue you have is that giving on this scale can't continue.. but like I said, you don't know if it will continue.

It was a first time meeting. Maybe the new girlfriend was just trying to make a good first impression. Maybe she wanted to make sure the kids would be happy and have some new and fun things to do while she was there because she was so nervous about how it would go. Maybe your ex has already said, "hey, this was nice, but you can't do it every time".

I would leave it alone at this point. If there were actually serious problems with the gifts (dangerous, grossly inappropriate for the age of the children, etc) then I would mention it. But for this, I'd wait and see if it happens again.


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