How to handle the father of my child fathering another child?

Mom - posted on 01/27/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter was born July 2014 she wasn't planned but she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. The father of my child? He started dating my "best friend" when I was 8 months pregnant. He hasn't taken an interest in my daughter when she was born he was coming to see her whenever he wanted to and expected me to cancel plans if I had them. Back in October he stopped coming to see her because he couldn't get passed how much he doesn't like me. He now has an attorney and is asking for 50% legal and physical custody. I just found out from his best friend that he is expecting another child with his crazy girlfriend. Her IUD fell out over a year ago when I was friends with her. She told several of her friends "____ is looking a lot more attractive now that he got Bobbie pregnant." He thinks that this baby is another "accident". But she has been lying to him about having her IUD in. She has targetted him because he is "fertile". And she now has what she wanted a baby due September 2015. She was excited to play step mom to my daughter and has done every thing she can to try and take her from me through my daughter's father. What can I do to prevent my daughter being around this his crazy girlfriend? We have court next week.

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Mom - posted on 01/27/2015

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She has sent me texts upon texts and the first time she sent things I just told her I would appreciate it if she left me alone. I didn't respond after that and her texts continued for months. Then she added me on fb messaged me I blocked her she tweeted at me she attempted to harrass me through every social media site I had which I have now deleted everything except my facebook. She has followed me and His Bestfriend in her car, she has followed me through stores, and shown up places I've been at frequently. I now carry pepper spray and a rape whistle on me, cause she reminds me of one of those horrible life time movies about the crazy obsessed woman that steels the pregnant womans baby from the womb.. I have proofs, but I don't want to mess anything up with the judge during court. I have made it clear to him and his family about how I feel about her and I have told him about what she has done to me. And he just tells me "She has gotten the help she needs, you on the other hand need to find yourself some help for these horrible things you say about her." So he just thinks I'm lying and refuses to believe me. I can only hope when she finds out she has been planning to get pregnant from him on purpose he will finally believe me.. This whole thing is just stupid and horrible.

I don't have an attorney because I can't afford one, and free legal aid doesn't represent when it comes to custody and parenting time they said. I don't know what to do...

Ledia - posted on 01/27/2015

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Well, depending on the severity of the harassment, if you have documented proof of the harassment, and it severity, you can submit that in court. You need to talk with your lawyer about the proper channels for doing so though. Not following the procedure for submitting evidence can result in the evidence being ruled inadmissible, even if it is good evidence.

Also, you have to consider how severe the harassment was, how you responded, and whether or not she actually did anything illegal. For example, a few texts where she calls you names and yells in all caps is not going to go very far. If she actually threatened violence toward you or your child, that might actually make an impact. If she is sending you nasty texts and you are sending nasty texts back to her, you might be better off just leaving it all out because the judge will just get annoyed with you for making him or her read through it all, and you want the judge to LOVE you.

Mom - posted on 01/27/2015

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I am just scared of what his girlfriend will do to my baby girl and how she will treat her. He doesn't have a place of his own so he said he will have her at his parents. I'm not angry anymore, I'm past angry I'm genuinly concerned about his mentally unstable girlfriend.. She threatened to kill herself when I told her I don't want her around my daughter. I just don't know what to do. She has stalked me and harrassed me. I just want to be able to protect myself and my daughter..

Ev - posted on 01/27/2015

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Unfortunately, there is not a thing you can do to keep the GF away from the child unless you can prove she is an unfit person with actual documentation that shows this. You need to have a lawyer now and the father is entitled to have that kind of custody and visitation set up just as you do. This isn't about how you feel. The judge is not going to look at it or hear it. This is about your child having a relationship with each parent. You are upset and angered and I can understand that totally. But you are going to have to learn to deal with it or get over it.

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