How to help a child whose parent abandoned them cope?

Carol - posted on 06/29/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My husbands Ex turned over custody of her 4 kids(one is husbands) to CPS 6-7 years ago. My husband has Joint custody now of his daughter with another relative. For the last 5-6 years The kids have lived in our town & have had very limited, inconsistant communication with their BM. She may call once every month or not call for almost a year. The minute she does call, they are all excited to talk to her & have a renewed hope that she will come back for them. My concern is that this is unhealthy for them to 1: have the inconsistent relationship with her that they have & 2: gives them a sense of false hope. My SD is special needs(she has an IQ of 67) I don't think she realizes that her BM just may not ever be able to take care of her. The BM has been known to have depression issues & well as thoughts of harming the children. At this point no one really knows where she.
Am I wrong in thinking that my SD should not hope so much that her mom will come back? Is this something that would best be worked out in therapy? Any advice would help.

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