How To keep dad involved after delivery?

Becky - posted on 06/02/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )

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So with our daughter my hubby was pretty much a taxi driver for the family while I was in the hospital. I'm planning on breast feeding again with our son, so I guess my question is what exactly is dad supposed to do at night in the hospital, and at home if I'm the source of food? How did your guys help?

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Happy - posted on 06/03/2012

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Becky, sunds like you have thought this out very well. One word of cation to you. Do not expect your husband to actually follow you lists and schedule the way you would or even at all. I do not say that as a put down to him but simply logistics. He is not you, he doesn't think like you, he doesn't do things they way you would do them. If I were you, I would simply be happy if my husband remebered to pick me up from the hospital and when I got home found the house still standing and the children still alive! LOL Now that's not to say he won't do more, mine certainly did, but I don't want you to get your hopes up and then be dissappointed and frustrated if things don't work the way you planned, especially if this is his first time overnight alone with the kiddos. Congrats to you and love those babies!

Becky - posted on 06/03/2012

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I totally stocked our freezer, pantry, and fridge with pre made everything... Thanks to pinterest..lol and I have made lists of my daughters schedule and the housework routine and they are on the fridge, those were great ideas..
So I guess it's best for him to go home, the first few nights your body barely makes enough milk to "feed" the baby so expressing that early wouldn't work but I do plan on doing so much later...
Thanks for the ideas/answers ladies I kinda figured it would be best for him to be home but just didn't wanna give the go ahead incase I forgot something..lol

Happy - posted on 06/03/2012

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Just recently had our fourth child. Hubby was there for the entire birth up until we were settled into my room afterwards and then went home to be withthe other kiddos. At first I was discouraged that he would be unable to stay the night, as he had done for all the other births, but childcare was an issue this time around. Turned out to be no big deal that he went home, I mean, all we did was sleep anyway! LOL

PS, Do NOT pump and feed baby with a bottle until you supply is WELL established, typically 4-6 weeks in. And no, Louise, you can't JUST express and give baby a bottle, it is not the same and can be detrimentle to Mom's supply.

Louise - posted on 06/03/2012

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Could you not express as well as breast feed so that he can do some of the night feeds for you, allowing you to get a good nights sleep. If not then definitely bath time supervisor. He needs this time to bond with his baby too. As this is your second he is going to have to be there for your first child too. So I hope he has got a list of what she does and when to help him.

Believe me you are going to need him a lot this time around. He is going to have to make sure the first child is happy and content and also deal with the needs of you and the new baby. Just make sure he is well prepared. I found it useful to cook a load of meals in advance and freeze them so that all he had to do was pop them in the oven. You never know how long you are going to be in hospital. I had planned on 6 hours with my third and ended up staying 5 days because she ended up being an emergency c section. I was not prepared for that and my husband was thrown in at the deep end.

Amy - posted on 06/02/2012

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My husband was responsible for getting the baby, changing the baby, bringing the kids to me to feed them. During the first couple of weeks the baby has a tendency to fall asleep during the feeding so my husband had to help keep the kids awake by rubbing there feet or making it "uncomfortable" for them to go back to sleep.

Michelle - posted on 06/02/2012

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I think he should stay home with the other child. She's going to be "put out" enough that a new baby is going to be in the house so I think spending some time with Daddy would be great.

Becky - posted on 06/02/2012

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I had to stay two nights, big baby means more nights at my hospital. My daughter never really cried unless she was hungry or wet. I'm just trying to figure out if it's really worth him staying or just go back home to be with our daughter and whatever family member is with her..

Michelle - posted on 06/02/2012

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He can do the bathing, changing and walking the halls with the crying baby.

I know that Dad's can have a hard time when the child is breastfed but it really depends on the Dad and how much he wants to help out at home.

I only stayed 1 night in hospital so my Husband came home and had his last full night's sleep for a while :-)

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