how to make a 3 year old not cry for petty issues ?

Umber - posted on 11/21/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )




my 3 yr old gal cries for little things happening at home .. for eg crying if her crayon breaks, crying if some other child took her chair, crying for her clothes getting wet. I dont mind addressing these issues but how to make her say it normal rather than cryign and telling me ... too worried about thsi habit of hers.. dont want her to be a cry baby !!!


Neva - posted on 11/22/2011




This is totally normal for a 3 year old. It is ok for them to cry. Children of this age become frustrated when something doesn't go the way they wish it would. They don't always have the language to express their frustration so they cry. It is helpful when, for instance her crayon breaks to give her the words. Say "you must be frustrated that the crayon broke, but its ok, there are other crayons, how about trying this other color," of when someone takes her chair say "I'm sure you must be feeling mad that someone took your chair, that was not a very nice thing to do, lets find another chair." Give her feelings words so that she can start to understand the emotions that she's feeling. Don't let her think that crying is a bad thing, or she might learn to stuff down her emotions.

Heather - posted on 11/30/2011




My son is 2 1/2 and "trys" to do this also. Everytime he starts, I stop him immediately and tell him "no whining, just tell me what you want". I have to constantly remind him, but he does understand. The second I say no no, he will redirect what he wants or what the problem is. I also tell him that once he can tell me using his words, I will help him. He would whine for the littlest things like milk or a toy. Whining is a pet peeve of mine, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is only 2 1/2. Good luck.


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Heidi - posted on 11/30/2011




Good luck with that. I have a licensed day care and its something I deal with on a regular basis with the children in care. Im not sure what it is but I know when I was a child there was no whining allowed and crying was allowed when I was hurt.
I struggle with this on a daily basis so if you find the answer please share it with everyone!!!

Kelly - posted on 11/30/2011




Probably the biggest thing is to not give it too much attention or you will reward her behavior. Somethings can be ignored completely, sometimes you can say to her "as soon as you are done crying come find me and we can problem solve this" (use a couple of words she understands better than problem solve!) With this approach you are not diqualifying her feelings but not giving the tears attention. Also teaching her ways that she handle it better and might just begin to use on her own instead of a melt down. Finally if there is another child involved begin to teach words instead. Say instead of crying how about we say "I get upset when you take my chair." If the child doesn't give it up what can we do? Find a new one! These things are all the beginning's of problem resolution and you are teaching her to be assertive. Remember with all of these teaching moments a little work now will be a big investment later for you! Also be consistent and lessons are learned very quickly.

Alexandra - posted on 11/26/2011




i also think this is a phase. If it continues for a long time, then another issues may be the problem and a phone call to the ped. is in order.

[deleted account]

My 3 year old freaks out over the 'silliest' things sometimes. Silly to me and his sisters, but not to him.

My normal method of dealing w/ it is to validate his feelings and then try to distract him w/ something else. If he just keeps crying I send him to bed until he can stop. He freaks out a LOT less at 3 years 8 months than he did just a few months ago, so I think he might finally be starting to outgrow his freak outs a bit.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 11/21/2011




She is 3...many do these things you are saying. You should remain calm and just let her know cryons break, then show her how to do it..even if you have already, and like the poster before me said she may not be able to say how she feels and so she just crys.

[deleted account]

It's pretty normal. She probably just doesn't have the ability to express how she feels about the situation and that is frustrating and then the tears. She'll probably outgrow it.

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