How to make my kids love their stepdad?

Anna Rose - posted on 11/01/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )




I married again after being widowed for 8 years. My husband is trying to cope up and be a father to my kids but my kids are too cold to him. How should I convince my kids to at least accept my husband.?


Jodi - posted on 11/01/2015




You can't force your kids to love someone. Respect, yes, but love? No. He isn't their father. They know he isn't their father. You need to back off.

Michelle asks excellent questions about how old the children are and how long you have been with him. These all make a difference too.

Personally, I wouldn't remarry someone my children didn't get along with or respect....but that's me.

Michelle - posted on 11/01/2015




How old are your children? How long were you dating this man? How long since you have introduced him to the children? How did you introduce him into your family?
You can't expect them to just accept a new "Father" because he isn't their Father.
Yes they should respect him but they don't have to love him like they did their own Dad.


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Amber - posted on 11/02/2015




Like they said you can't make them like him but maybe go to a place the kids would like, maybe an arcade or something and encourage your husband to play games with them. The best bonding we had with our stepdad was doing stuff like that and going to a go cart racing track. Playing board games at home, he needs to have quality time with them.

Raye - posted on 11/02/2015




Generally, if he is being loving and respectful to the children, then they should treat him with respect. They may not ever love him or be close to him. If they're teenagers, then they may make things more difficult just because they're teenagers. Some kids feel that they were not enough for your happiness and you had to look elsewhere and feel that he may be an intruder in the family. They don't understand yet that there is a different kind of love that you get from another adult that is different than the love you have for them. Your love for your kids is irreplaceable, and you need to help them understand you still love them as much or more than ever, but you love your husband too, in a different way.

Sit and have a conversation with your kids on why they feel the way they do. Maybe speak to them separately in private so they feel more comfortable opening up. If they won't talk right away, don't push, but let them know they can always come to you if they have questions.

Anna Rose - posted on 11/01/2015




Thank you so much. Their father left us when they were young. live happily with my cousin. He spend all my hard earning as domestic helper from Singapore with that woman. He sold our property in short he left us with nothing. When he died because of that woman I was the one who paid for all his hospital bills. I thought its time to be happy with the one who respect me from head to toe. Since I married my second husband he became the provider. He provide with everything they need. It maybe wrong of me to use the word love. it should be respect. anyways thank you both for those words.

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