how to manage my distance with my son ...???

Sowmya - posted on 04/03/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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i am single mom of 24, currently doing post graduation at first level. i am living far away from my son. my mom is taking care of my son in all mean, financially my mom supports me and my son, but some times she used to burst out seeing the economic shit of my son & my education. now problem is my son`s doing school and he`s poor in studies, when my mom makes a call she gets mad on me lol most of the time our conversation will be silent. my 4years old son now started to grow up, i have to be with him to support his studies but i am here in university., my mom suffers to take care of my son`s education.. mean while i engaged with a black guy who loves me for past 6 months, honestly he brought me to bright side of life, thanks to GOD for showing up a great treasure , now he`s leaving home by next month., i am here in india ,he will be in kenya, i got full support from him when my family denied to show their affection to me. we have planned about our marriage within some years.. what`s my problem is i am suffering with my son`s future & what can i do with my guy? can i marry him now ? or let me give him time?

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Christina - posted on 04/08/2014

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I think maybe to her age doesn't come into it. As far as she is concerned you are the same as her, a student. She is possibly worried that if you get into trouble with the phone then she will to so is feeling uncomfortable and being that much younger may not know how to deal with the situation.
If you can't get her to talk to you write her a letter and leave it where she will see and read it.

Christina - posted on 04/07/2014

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Really, wow, that is incredibly strict and very harsh. As for the student's chairperson, yes she does have to answer to the administration and follow the culture and traditions but she can do that and support the students when she is needed otherwise she is not doing her job properly.
With your room mate, yes I would speak to her so that you can find out why she feels that way. If you don't talk to each other and get all the issues out in the open things may become more awkward than they already are and that won't be good for either of you.

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Sowmya - posted on 04/28/2014

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ashlyn no i cant continue my education there, and my mom wont be coming over here leaving her parents, ..


so you says i am not concerning about my son? does making a relationship is not good in my case?

[deleted account]

You will ALWAYS want to put your child first. I would focus on your son before I worried about getting engaged. Is there any way you can move back home with your mom so you can help take care of your son while also going to school?

Sowmya - posted on 04/08/2014

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i got you christina.. how can i start my conversation with her?
sorry to ask you because most of them have blamed me saying that i dont know how to talk with the people

Sowmya - posted on 04/07/2014

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you are totally right, and even today morning she behaved in a way like my ex mother in law lol
though i stood outside of my room she came shutting the door louder, which proves she hates me alot, and nowadays she not even facing me, always bending her head down whenever she wants to face me, she is happy with her friends circle but she hates me more , the attitude what she made to me in this morning made my day bloom-off :(, i dont feel to fight with her , i need to talk but the way she doing is irritating me to peak..that making me to loose the control, i am older than her but she dont want to respect me

Sowmya - posted on 04/04/2014

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the rules & regulations are provided by the college administration and the student`s chairperson is also not supporting much to students, she always used to stand behind the administration, being in India we have got cultures and traditions to follow, and in college its very strict in regarding that, what they say is keeping the phone in college or hostel is serious issue as committing murder, even i have seen some of the girls were suspended from college because of mobile phone..
Christina now i need your help., i am totally disturbed from the time i heard from my room mate .,and even me i don't feel to go to my room, can i speak with my room mate regarding what she spoke to me yesterday? i need to know why she said to me that she don't want to stay in the room unless i am not there..

Christina - posted on 04/04/2014

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Ok. Feeling sick and having headache is stress related as you have got so much going on.
Why are you not allowed to use mobile phones at the college? That seems ridiculous to me. Have you spoken to your tutor or student services, or whoever there is there that you can go to for support, about the phone and your room mates?

Sowmya - posted on 04/04/2014

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its impossible to go back to home without my degree. and my native is a village i cant find my education there, christina now my worry is about my son not about my love , :) i cant concentrate on my studies too getting sickness , headache, ... i am trying to manage my life here in college but i am confused most of time, my room mates who living with me in hostel are 5 years younger to me, now i am getting problem with them they told me they dont want to stay in the room unless i am not there., they spoke to me like that because of the mobile phone. i am not supposed to use phone in college but i have it with me, i am not comfortable to use the common phone infront of every one. with my mom`s permission i have it in my hand. nothing is going right around me...

Christina - posted on 04/03/2014

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HI Sowmya
If I were in your position I would put my son first and if your guy loves you as much as he says he does then he will understand.
As for being that far away from your son, can you transfer your degree to where your son is?

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