How to NOT say "I told you so"

Cathy - posted on 03/05/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )




Brief background - it's been heard before. My son met a giri, she got pregnant (very early in relationship). My advice at that moment was to wait until after baby was born to get married since they barely even knew each other.. they did, and then got married when their son was almost two.

Now... less than a year (10 months) into their marriage.. they are having isssues.

Here is my dilema... I NEVER liked her, and still don't. And I mean REALLY DON'T LIKE HER. She is superficial, and needy and MUST be the center of attention at all times - a REAL drama queen that would give any of the "Housewives" on TV a run for their money. My son comes from a strong family background...yes, I was a single mom, but my extended family has always been tight and remain close to this day. I can say the things about her above because during their relationship she has been a part of some big losses that proved my point. My mother (my son't grandmother) passed away and then my husband (his stepfather) passed away 6 months later. During both of these sad and emotional times, she still found a way to make herself the center of attention.

Basically... she is just NOT a good person. Her background, family life and a previous marriage that she didn't even tell her family occurred are just a few of the highlights of this manipulative woman.

So... now that she is showing her true colors to him... how do I possibly give him advice when I really want to tell thim to RUN.... FAST?!! It is so difficult since he has a son with her. And... since his biological father was NEVER in his life.. he has sworn to himself that he will never abandon his son. But at what cost to his self esteem and happiness?

They are attending marriage counseling... but I fear that she is going to manipulate that too. In my opinion, she is reaching for a reason to leave, how can I tell my son to let her go?


View replies by

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/05/2013




You don't tell him to go. You let him do what he needs to do as a husband and father. Be there for him, and let him talk with you. Stay out of it. If you don't stay out of it, and you say something to him......what if they stay married? You will be the bad guy. Just be a wonderful grandparent, the best MIL anyone could ask for, and be there for your son if and when he falls.

Amy - posted on 03/05/2013




At no point should you ever tell him to run, even if they are going through a divorce or after. You never know what is going to happen down the road and if it works out you don't want to push your son away. Stay out of it even if they try to bring you in it.

Michelle - posted on 03/05/2013




All you can do is be there for him as shoulder to cry on if the marriage breaks down. Do not interfere in what is going on at the moment as you will only be accused of interfering if things don't go her way.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms