How to raise a child to know there's a difference between dad and her biological dad.

Corinne - posted on 05/10/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am currently six months pregnant. My boyfriend has been here since my second month but isn't the biological dad. I know her actual biological father will never be apart of her life but I want her to know that my boyfriend is her dad, just not biologically. How do you go about that with a young child?

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Maria - posted on 05/10/2012

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Rachell is right, you have tons of time to figure it out.
My step dad is my dad. he raied me and has been there for me. I call my bio dad by his first name when refering to him. havent seen him in since I was 9. just call your baby's bio dad by his name and his daddy "dad"
The only thing I would do is get bio-dad to waive his rights, just so he cant be a prick about things.

Rachel - posted on 05/10/2012

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I would just say take it slow. it will be some time before she is old enough to understand the difference. My son was 4 when he found out that his daddy wasnt biological and it hasnt changed anything. It just really depends on the child and their comprehension level. good luck. and it is great that you found a good guy. My daughters father took care of me and my son when i was pregnant with my daughter and takes care of my son as if he was his. We broke up for alittle and my son was still his. I told him when we got together that this is a life time commitment if you are daddy now you are always daddy you dont just get to leave when you want. and he agreed. Good luck and take it one day at a time

Corinne - posted on 05/10/2012

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The biological father told me to get an abortion; when I made it clear that was not an option he ignored me for months. My current boyfriend has had plenty of outs but has just impressed me more and more. My 20 month old's father hasn't bought her a pack of diapers since she was born, I've been doing everything but since I stopped working my boyfriend has been supporting all of us finacially. I'm not new to the disappearing act once the baby's born; I just don't see it happening with him. He has asked if we do split up that he is still daddy. I can tell he loves my kids as much as I do which is a big reason I fell in love with him. I just want my daughter to know the truth from the get-go but don't know how or what age that's appropriate.

Rachel - posted on 05/10/2012

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Ok first of all dont stress about it right now. you have plenty of time to worry about that. Right now just focus on your little one being happy and healthy. you and your boyfriend havent been together very long so give that some time. Once she is older if you and your boyfriend are still together you can explain that he is her Daddy but not her father. A father makes a child a Daddy raises the child. Good luck and dont rush things. I went through a similar situation... I was 7 weeks pregnant when i started dating someone my sons sperm donor wanted me to have an abortion so the guy i was dating said he would be the dad and help me raise my child. we were together and even got married one month before my son was born but i realized soon after my son was born that my husband was not going to help me or support me financially. we ended up splitting up when my son was 14months old when my husband got violent. my son does not know my husband but does have a dad who he knows is not his real father. This guy has raised him since he was 2 and my son is now 5. I also have a 2 year old with my current boyfriend. So as you see alot can change in alittle amount of time. take it one day at a time and I would say unless your childs biological father is abusive or something like that i think he deserves to see his child and she deserves to know where she came from.

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