How to share visitation/custody in a separation/divorce?

Dennie - posted on 09/25/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband left 10 months ago. He had been having an affair for 4 months. He filed for divorce 3 months ago the same time he moved in with this other woman. I am wondering how to encourage or offer or share custody and visitation with their Dad while he is living in a situation that goes against my values and beliefs. My children are struggling with their relationship with their Dad, too. Two of them do not want to see him at all. Any suggestions for how to help my children still have a relationship with their father?

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Linda - posted on 09/27/2012

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Sorry to hear what you and your children are going through it must be tough. I wouldn't want my children to live with their Dad in your situation either. They are hurt and need time to heal I think if your children don't want to see him at present he has to accept that. He did the damage. In time the children may feel different. But they may want to be with you to support you which is lovely. Your emotions are probably everywhere, keep strong and use your family and friends as support. There are a lot of support services out there to help. I wish you all the best. Take care.

Chaya - posted on 09/25/2012

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If your children don't wish to see him at all, don't make them. They do need to go into court and explain their logic to the judge. My daughter has decided that she will say: "I wish to have a relationship with my dad, but I don't want to live with him." That works for her.

One thing my neighbors did was that both mom and dad lived in the same apartment community, so the children could hang out with either parent.

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