How to start the process of visitation order

Nikki - posted on 06/24/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Yesterday me and my daughter's dad had a argument because after doing the visit of Wed and Thur. with his son I had to come pick her up those two mornings to take her to the daycare and pick her up from the daycare and take her back over there. Just because his excuse was he doesnt have two car seats to transport his son which is two and my daughter which is one. This is not my problem I have a four year old that still rides in a car seat and I transport them together at all times. I am not going to be rushing around on the mornings that he decides to keep her just because of his excuses if he wants to keep her on those days he needs to be totally responsible for picking up and dropping her off also. I also don't want to accuse but during the time of the visits between daycare and his house with his other child my daughter got a sore on her upper lip like it was bumped. I am concerned that maybe the two might get into little scuffles with them being close in age and him not watching them closely. I get worried at that age group you know how kids can be and I don't want to be accusing if things happen at the daycare and not there. I asked him about changing days to maybe one of those days being with him and his son but the other day on a weekend where he can be attentitive to her and also since we are both off on the weekends to give me a break for a day on the weekend to regroup. He flew off the handle saying that he is not changing days I am ungrateful and wouldn't know a good father if it slapped me in the face. Since my daughter has been born we have never been able to come to an agreement with visitation. First it was monday's he didnt stick to that then it was tuesday a couple months later than he changed it to sunday last month and hasn't fell through with all of those changes. I am just so tired and just want to throw my hands up and let the courts decide an order where I know he will have no choice but to stick to it. I just need to know how to go about this I got a few numbers for legal aid but is this common for just divorced couples or kids out of wedlock get visitation orders also?

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Dove - posted on 06/24/2012

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You can definitely get a court order for visitation even if you weren't married and it is very common for custody/visitations to be done with a court order. I 'believe' a typical standard visitation is every other weekend and one day during the week. I think it's best if a couple (or EX couple, actually) can come to an agreement on visitation together and then have it notarized by the court, but if that isn't possible... then getting a court order mandated by a judge is in everyone's best interest.

If you suspect drug use you may be able to get a court ordered drug test. That may or may not impact his visitation abilities.

Nikki - posted on 06/24/2012

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The car seat can be handed over but that's an excuse don't know why he has made that lame one. And with the situation of daycare or visit while with brother scuffles. I'm not sure if he does it while watching his kids but I know that he has indulged in marijuana use and that's just a concern that I have if he is being attentive and alert while their around. One of the reasons we are not together now. I'm in the Midwest of the United States. Thanks for your input.

Jodi - posted on 06/24/2012

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Can you not handover the car seat at the same time you hand over your daughter? That's what I used to do.

If the two kids are getting into scuffles, that's pretty normal. It could happen there or at daycare, why does that make a difference to you?

Anyway, with regard to going about getting firm visitation orders, I can't advise unless I know where you live. I'm in Australia, and I can point you in the right direction here.

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