How to stop a 10 year old boy from constant lying?

Susie - posted on 08/20/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi im wondering if anyone can give any advice. My partners 10 year old son is constantly telling lies. His mother acted very badly when his dad left and told him alot of thing he did not need to know as most of them were lies. She has since got better but only after 2 years and because his lying made her see what she had been doing, but he still feels the need to tell lies. He does the usual going between the 2 house holds telling lies then gets caught and gets punished, but recently it will be over little things like homework and will even try to convince u that he didnt tell the lie even when u are presenting the facts that he did to him. We have took pretty much everything away from him as a punishment and have tried giving things back for good behaviour but he sees it as a test to see what he can lie about to get the things took off him again. We have tried talking to him, reward charts,ignoring him, grounding him and taking things away but nothing seems to stop him and he doesnt seem bothered that he is in trouble. He has the same attitude at school and his school work is suffering quite alot. The school and him have confirmed he is not being bullied and actually seems to be the instigator himself. The school suggested that every day he writes a diary and he has been doing so to express how he feels but that doesnt seem to work....if anyone can help id appreciate it.....Thanks

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Lisa - posted on 08/22/2012

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I have a 12 year old son and I have had him since he was 6. I married his father and adopted him and his older sister. He has always been like this. He lies even if he knows you know he is lying. He is sneaky and steals things from people in the house. I have 2 other children so he makes 4. He never has enough attention. I have tried all the same things you have and spanked. Nothing helps. It drives me crazy. His birth mother is an alcoholic and abandoned him and his sister. He has issues over it now but didn't used to. Therapy has not worked either. Sometimes I think he will never straighten up. I'm with you.

Chaya - posted on 08/20/2012

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Call him on the lying, but make the punishment fit the crime. I'd spank for lying, but that's me. It could be that he is repeating what he hears, not necessarily lying, but ask him about it. If you grow up with lying being accepted, he's going to find it approprite

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